Ashley

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School Lunch Boxes for Dummies

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Every day of elementary school, my lunch box contained the following: a peanut butter sandwich on white bread a Jello pudding cup two cookies (Chips Ahoy or Dunkaroos, preferably) a handful of Pringles...
Mom's Summer Reading List

Mom’s Summer Reading List

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Recently, I've realized that I'm happiest when I have a book to read. Like basically every other human being under the age of 70, I have a crippling addiction to my phone. A few...

To Redshirt or Not: A Total Mind#@*&

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You may have read that title and are thinking 'Good God, not another post about redshirting, I can't take it!’ Well, consider yourself #blessed; opt out of this one and go watch videos of...

Learning Not to Hate Mother’s Day

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There’s no better place on Earth to watch the passing of time than the dollar bin at Target. As soon as one holiday is over, its shelves are filled with a new assortment of...
Meatless Mondays

Meatless Mondays: Veggie Chili with Homemade Tortilla Chips and Portobello Mushroom Cheeseburgers with Crispy...

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When I was growing up, the only times I ever consumed a 'meatless' meal was by accident, like cheese pizza or peanut butter sandwiches or that time I ate half a can of chocolate frosting...
Nothing in My Life is Nice

Nothing in My Life is Nice… And That’s Okay

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Sometimes, I look around at my life. My house, my kids, my husband. My face. I look at all of these things and I think 'Good God. We all look like straight-up garbage. Is...

Lessons from an Unexpected NICU Stay

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Wh-whump. Wh-whump. Wh-whump. The rhythmic beat of my breast pump cuts through the quiet as I grip the bottles and try to stay awake. I'm huddled under a blanket in the dark, while the rest...

Dear Dog, Sorry We Hate You

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Dear Lola, Let's just get this out of the way: you're a dog. And on top of that, you're pretty stupid. The other night I asked your dad if he thought you were just somehow...

“Any Day Now, Huh?” and Other Annoying Things People Say to Pregnant Ladies

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As I approach the end of my third pregnancy, the bombardment of annoying and startling comments I receive daily from strangers has become more constant. Last month I talked about gender expectations and how...

Stories of Love: Long Distance Runaround

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Ten years ago, when I was 20, I traveled overseas for the first time to study abroad in London. I chose London because I love the Rolling Stones and I'm too dumb to learn...