Somehow, 365 days have passed since my son was born, and this season has brought more change, joy, stress, and love than I could have ever imagined.
To celebrate his first birthday, I’m reflecting on some of the lessons I’ve learned throughout my first year as a mother.
1. Sleep will come in waves
I remember my first couple of months postpartum and feeling like I would never sleep for more than two hours at a time again. Then we hit five months, and he started sleeping through the night for the first time. I felt like a new woman, and thought we had finally gotten through the lack of sleep.
Turns out, infant sleep isn’t that linear.
I’ve learned that sleep (at least in our experience), isn’t an exact science. But even with the regressions and ups and downs, you will sleep again.
2. The house can wait
As a perfectionist and clean freak, it overwhelmed me at first seeing chores pile up. But the truth is, there will always be laundry and dishes to get done. But your baby will never be this small again. I learned to release the pressure of perfectionism, and instead put snuggles and playtime at the top of my to-do list.
3. Asking for help is necessary sometimes
Being a parent is a gift, but it can also become overwhelming very quickly. I’m so grateful for the village of amazing people in my life that have always been willing to lend a hand when I needed it. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s essential to give yourself time to walk away and reset.
4. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing
Oh the things I have Googled at two in the morning. “Is this normal?” “Am I doing this right?” I quickly learned that a lot of the time, you’re going to encounter things that you have no idea how to handle, and that’s okay.
5. Getting in water or getting outside is a game changer
This is one of the simplest and biggest lessons I’ve learned this year. If my baby is fussy, getting some fresh air or taking a quick bath is an instant mood booster (for both of us).
6. Routines are important, but flexibility is essential
This applies to everything: sleep, feedings, schedules. Children thrive on routine, but life is unpredictable. It’s important to be ready to pivot, and know that one missed nap is not the end of the world.
7. You’ll become a pro at doing things one-handed
Cooking dinner. Making bottles. Putting on pants. This year I’ve learned that if I want to get it done, I’m going to have to figure out how to do it with one hand.
8. Alone time is SACRED
Before becoming a mother, alone time was a nonnegotiable daily ritual for me. These days, most moments are shared with my little shadow. As much as I love being with him, I’ve learned that taking time to recharge isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. This year has taught me to appreciate every quiet moment I get, because caring for myself helps me show up as a better mom.
9. You don’t have to document everything
At first, I wanted to capture every milestone, every smile, every cute outfit. But then I realized that constantly reaching for my phone sometimes pulled me away from the moment itself. I’ve learned that not every memory needs a picture. Some of the most meaningful moments are the ones no one captured.
10. Time passes quickly; do your best to be present
When parents say the days are long but the years are short, they’re telling the truth. Some days you feel ready to check out, but time is fleeting. I’ve learned the importance of presence, to try your best to absorb every moment you can with your little one.
11. You’ll learn to trust your instincts
There are so many opinions when you become a parent. It can be easy to compare yourself to others, and get lost in the thought of what you should be doing. I’ve learned that although the wisdom of others is incredibly valuable, it’s just as valuable to learn to trust your own instincts.
12. Motherhood changes you (in the best ways)
Becoming a mother has stretched me in ways I could have never imagined. I’ve learned I’m capable of holding more on my shoulders than I could’ve imagined.To be more selfless. To be more patient and more present. To love more deeply.
