If you’re living your days going in thinking, “I’m going to give it my all today!” you’re setting yourself up for failure. That was hard to hear from my counselor! I was in control-the-chaos mode, trying to be emotionally stable in spite of hits that happened, and truly thought that if I just had a good attitude to start my day, things would be good!
Here’s where we mess up with the thought of “Give 100%, receive 100%.” We don’t always have 100% to give!
There is chaos that comes up out of your control. Your period starts two days early. A call comes from school saying to come get your kid because they just threw up. A nail pops your tire. Your best friend texts you a whole boyfriend saga you need to speak into. The whole “Give it your all!” attitude you had at the start fizzles with every little interruption to your to-do list.
It would be 100% impossible to go into every day feeling 100%, much less having the ability to do so every. single. day. That’s when burnout happens! So let me give you some $100 counseling session advice for free:
If you have a day where you only have 40% to give at the start and you gave all 40% you had, you gave 100%! Gave 35%? That’s like 88%!
So many times I expect every day to be the same as my ”best days.” We all have an idea of what that looks like. Maybe for you it’s getting dressed, doing all your work, cooking a fresh meal, getting kids to bed on time, having your Jesus time, and never being anxious or angry. All balls juggled stayed in the air! Everyone is healthy, no family or friend relationship drama, and all people in your life are pleased with you — woohoo!
Those are great days, but it’s 100% unrealistic to feel or have a “best day” every day.
We are humans; we get sick, our hormones fluctuate, our energy wanes, things out of our control happen, anxiety triggers. Here’s the fun part when you apply the “what percentage are you starting your day with” method: when we tell our brains “we did the best we could with what we had and knew…” we can STOP the cycle of grading or comparing ourselves to others or our own best days.
Once I started taking note of how much was out of my control, how some days I just didn’t have much to give because the stress of days prior spilled over to the next, I was able to consciously give myself grace. It became a new pattern, something thoughtless almost, to say “I did my best!” then have a good night’s rest. I also found how much time I wasted feeling guilty about not giving 100%! I revisited a post I wrote about freeing up time to free yourself from this guilt. It might be helpful to you as well!
