How is it December already? It feels like it was just yesterday I was slathering my boys in sunscreen and heading to the swimming pool, but Christmas has officially arrived in Chattanooga. I truly love every single bit of the holidays, but they can also bring added stress and busyness. It feels like one has to fit EVERYTHING in… What happens if your kids don’t get to see Santa, if you miss a classic Christmas movie, or if you forget to buy cute Christmas pajamas? The list of holiday “must dos” seems to grow longer every year, and as moms, that adds a lot of weight to our shoulders during this precious season.
Along with the pressure to squeeze everything in, comes the stress to document EVERYTHING.
We live in a world obsessed with social media and photos. If we don’t post a picture with a cute caption, how will our friends know that we’re a fun mom? If we don’t take pictures, how will we remember the precious moments we had with our babies? If we don’t document everything we do, how will our children know what a special childhood they had?
As a mom, most of the memory-making gets put on me. I don’t say that with frustration or bitterness; I really love making the holidays magical for my little family. I love photographing the boys through every stage of life and every Christmas event in which we participate. Each visit with Santa is documented and accounted for. Every parade, Christmas light exhibit, and day spent decorating our tree is photographed and tucked away in our memories. I have hundreds of photos of my boys opening presents and my husband looking silly while assembling them. I look back at these every year with awe and wonder, and I can’t wait to pass them down to my boys one day.
As I scroll through every picture though, I notice one thing is missing: me.
As my boys get older, I want them to look back at their childhood pictures with fondness, and I’d like them to see photos of our whole family, not just of them and my husband. One of the gifts I want to give my children this Christmas — and all year long — is being more present in our family photographs. I know that doesn’t matter to them right now, but I want them to remember that I was there as they grow older. I also want them to have plenty of pictures of us together in case, heaven forbid, something were to happen to me.
I can’t blame anyone but myself when it comes to my absence in photos. As women and mothers, we’re our own worst critics when it comes to our personal appearance. I can’t tell you how many cute and silly photo opportunities with my boys I’ve passed up because I’ve felt too fat or not put together. I’ve said no because my face felt chubby, I wasn’t wearing any makeup, or my hair was a mess. I can look at a picture of myself from every angle and find something wrong — it’s a special talent some of us possess. Even though I beat myself up when I look my picture, I know my family doesn’t. My boys don’t focus on mommy’s double chin or unkept hair. My husband isn’t worried about what my makeup looks like. Those precious people see a fun time we had together, not all the negatives I see.
Another excuse I use to avoid having my picture taken is claiming the role of family photographer. Who else is going to snap a photo of the boys looking adorable in front of a Christmas tree display? My husband isn’t wired the way I am when it comes to carrying around a camera or pulling his phone out to post a cute photo on Facebook or Instagram. This year though, I’m going to pass my phone or camera off to him and ask him to snap a picture of the boys and me. He doesn’t mind doing it; I just never ask him to. I’m also going to pull him aside for some selfies. Pictures of the two of us are just as important as photos of the five of us. We get so caught up in creating memories for our children that we forget to be part of the memories.
This year I’m making a vow to my family and myself to be in more photos. Technology makes it so easy for us to take pictures of ourselves with our families. You don’t need to hire a photographer or buy a fancy camera to make this happen. iPhones and selfies are perfect for moms on-the-go. You can even throw a few filters on if you’re feeling less than stellar about your appearance.
Memories and photos are the presents that keep on giving. In twenty years, when you’re sharing these priceless pictures with your grown children and grandchildren, they won’t care what you looked like, they’ll just care that you were there.
