Valentine’s Day is Stupid


And before you get all upset, you should know that if anyone has the right to call Valentine’s Day stupid it’s me. It’s my birthday, after all.

When I was a kid and people found out when my birthday is, the first thing they would say was, “Oh wow! You’re a Valentine’s baby! How sweet!” And I would be all, “Yeahhh, thanks.” But inwardly I was thinking the complete opposite: “Yeahhh, thanks for reminding me about the dumb day on which I was born.” The unsolicited oohs and aahs continued well into adulthood, and every time I flashed my ID when buying alcohol or writing a check I would hear from people about how lucky I was to have such a sweet, cool birthday.

*insert barf emoji*

Um, hello? Do you know anyone born on or around Christmas? How about New Year’s? Your birthday celebration plays second fiddle to the holiday. You get less attention, less giving, less quality time, less everything. I am by no means materialistic or greedy, but the last time I tried to go out to dinner on my birthday, I waited three and a half hours just to get a table. I love food, guys, but no food is THAT good.

But there are a few other reasons why Valentine’s Day is stupid:

There’s an expectation of showing love.

When was the last time you wanted to do something that someone EXPECTED you to do? It kind of takes the fun out of it. I want someone to show me love and affection because they feel like it, not because they feel obligated to show it.

You spend money on cheap stuff.

And maybe it’s not always “cheap” in the monetary sense of the word. But it’s cheap, nonetheless. When you buy things like cards, chocolates, flowers, jewelry, etc., because someone else decided there should be a “holiday” about love, then it’s cheap. 

When someone doesn’t pay attention to you on Valentine’s Day, you feel slighted.

You can’t help it. Years and years of “Valentine’s Day” celebrations have created some unhealthy expectations in you. You learned from a young age that only certain people in class were worthy enough to get Valentine cards. And if you weren’t one of them then Valentine’s Day pretty much sucked. But then you grew up and thought, “Oh, well, now I have a partner or significant other or spouse, so of course I’ll get a Valentine this year. You know, because that’s how society tells me I’ll know I am loved on this particular day.” And then you don’t. And then you feel unloved or under-appreciated.

Stupid, I tell you. I also think Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Grandparents’ Day holidays are stupid. And Boss’s Day? Stupid. How about a “National Employee’s Day” to celebrate all the employees who don’t quit their job on a daily basis? Now, that’s a holiday I could get behind.

Aside from my birthday being on this stupid holiday and preventing me from enjoying my free birthday meal somewhere, I think my biggest problem with Valentine’s Day (and those other stupid holidays) is that it has become this giant money-making scheme for Corporate America. As if Corporate America needs any more of our hard-earned cash to be spent on cheap items bought only to fulfill our societal obligation to let our loved ones know we, you know, love them. STUPID.

Instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day on February 14th, how about you celebrate it on February 13th? Or March 6th? Or April 10th? Or May 12th? Or, you know, any other day of the year you feel like showing your loved ones you love them. You don’t need a holiday to tell you how to show your love.

So, I’ll just be over here on February 14th celebrating my birthday, at home, with my loved ones. And it’s going to be perfect. No chocolates, flowers, or jewelry required.

Before I go, there is ONE thing I look forward to on Valentine’s Day, and that is sending these amazing Valentine memes to my husband all day long. 

You’re welcome. Hope your February 14th, and every other day of the year, is as “love”-ly as you are.