I Didn’t Really Want a Girl And That’s OK!


I Didn’t Really Want a Girl And That’s OK!Ever since the idea of even having kids came into my mind, I knew that I wanted boys. It’s not that girls are bad; many of my close friends have wonderful little girls and the girls in my oldest son’s class are all great, but I just knew that I was better meant to be a boy mom. It’s not that I was ever necessarily a tomboy — I enjoy nice purses and make-up as much as the average girl — but the idea of picking out dresses and bows for a little girl just never appealed to me as much as it seems to every other potential mother. I get just as excited picking out a tiny pair of jeans and a little shirt to go along with it or a comfy blue romper.

With my first pregnancy in 2012, I don’t recall anyone really being opinionated about which gender my baby should be. At my 20-week ultrasound (this was before the awesome quick gender blood tests that they have now were as widely used), I was thrilled to find out I was having a baby boy, my sweet now seven-year-old Desmond! With my second pregnancy in 2018, opinions were mixed. It was my second and since I already had a boy, some were hoping for a girl. But it was my husband’s first child (my first was from my previous marriage), so the baby being a boy was favorable so that he could carry on his father’s name. That being said, I again was happy when we found out we were having Baby Alex!

In September of this year, we found out we were expecting baby number three! Of course, I wanted another boy. But now the pressure was really on from everyone else that it had to be a girl! Many predicted it would be a girl. Many would say, “Maybe you’ll get a girl this time!” and I’d think, or sometimes even say back, “But I want another boy!” I think that most people don’t understand. I know that it’s the cultural norm for everyone to want one boy and one girl. That’s the standard and it would almost make me feel bad or weird at times because that wasn’t what I wanted. To everyone’s surprise, baby number three, who is most likely going to be named Samuel, is also a boy! At this point, I am almost convinced that my body is unable to produce female babies! Despite feeling the same as I did with my other pregnancies, I was just about as surprised as everyone else. Statistically, it seems crazy that it is going to be another boy, but I am thrilled.

I was even getting myself prepared that it was going to be a girl and became content with it. My good friend just gave birth to an absolutely adorable baby girl a couple of weeks ago, and when I first saw her at the hospital, I had the thought that, “Ok, I’d be ok if it was a girl.” But God knows me better than I know myself and gave me my boy! 

Don’t get me wrong; I know that the most important thing is that the baby be healthy, and if I were to have a girl at any point, I am sure I would absolutely love her. But I think that most expecting parents have a preference — consciously or unconsciously — as to which gender they would prefer. But who knows what the future holds! We don’t currently have plans to have another baby, but I have heard from a few women since posting my gender reveal that they had three boys and then a girl.

If that is what happens for us, it will bring along new challenges, new adventures, and a whole lot of love.