It may seem like everyone has a child struggling with attention deficit disorder. What was once an uncommon, unnamed issue for a rare few, is now something we are all dealing with in one way or another. Whatever the cause of this issue (I’m currently reading a book that argues lack of time outdoors is the culprit!), it’s clear that many of us moms are having to figure out how to help our children focus.
I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until adulthood, but looking back it was always an issue. I was the talker in school; it didn’t matter where my teachers sat me, I would talk to whomever was nearby. Finally, in the fourth grade, my teacher “punished” me by making me stand at my desk to do my work. What she didn’t know is that by allowing me to stand up and move a bit, I didn’t feel the need to run my mouth. Fast-forward thirty years and I still can’t sit still, hence my job as a fitness instructor!
Depending on how your child struggles, there are many tools you can teach to manage the overwhelming emotions that come with ADHD. That’s the thing, by the way – overwhelming feelings. When your brain is running at max capacity all the time, you are always on the verge of becoming overwhelmed. For me, it’s visual and auditory clutter; if there is too much noise or too many things in my field of vision, I can’t focus on the task at hand and end up either crying or yelling (just ask my family). The key to helping me complete a task is eliminating visual and auditory stimuli — I need blinders and earmuffs. Plenty of sleep, daily exercise, room to move, silence, and clean space are all absolutely necessary if you need me to focus.
Basically, I thought I had the ADHD thing down. Then I had a child with ADHD Inattentive Type.
This boy is my dreamer. We have always jokingly called him “our little stoner,” because he always acts just a little high. When he was a baby, he didn’t need toys. If there wasn’t anything to play with he would just play with his toes or stare at his hands. He didn’t crawl or walk for ages because there wasn’t really anywhere he wanted to go. He didn’t talk a lot because he was content to just listen. He was basically the easiest kid ever because he was so chill.
Then we started school.
As a homeschooling family, we have incredible flexibility in how and what we teach. For the first several years, we could hop around and try different curriculums and methods, and keep him interested enough that I felt like we were managing. Once we hit age 10 though, I knew it was time to introduce more focused classical education. Through Veritas Classical Schools we are able to get some outside teaching that allows my boys to learn from someone other than me that, yes, being able to write a paper is important.
Oh. Man. Were we in for a challenge.
The adjustment period we experienced with our oldest was nothing compared to the absolute panic that ensued with my ADD kid. While we are still working through how to help my boy feel successful, I’ve been fortunate to receive lots of tips and tricks from other moms, educators, and therapists that we are implementing in our home. I’ve divided them up based on whether they are likely to be most helpful for those who are hyperactive or those who are more inattentive.
If you have a child struggling with both, you may find the lists above to be helpful!
