Are you afraid of what the teenage years hold with the impending attitude, hormone changes, and giving up of control? Don’t be! If you’re a mom of young kids, start talking with them now. Make the little things of their life like their favorite Bluey episode, or latest unidentifiable building block creation, big things. This will turn into the big things in their life as they get older, navigating a bigger world, the day to day.
Just to give you a glimpse into raising a teenager (specifically a boy!), here is a three-hour snippet of our afternoon after school:
“Mom, answer. I need help.”
(I missed three calls in a span of 30 seconds.)
I answered the FaceTime and he shows me he can’t find the tire store.
(It’s right behind him.)
“What do I say?”
Your tire needs patched.
“And then what?”
They’ll patch your tire.
(Teaching your teenager to not be afraid of confrontation takes some patience and humor! Stick with them, and make them do the hard things like going to the tire store for a tire patch.)
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“I’m cooking dinner for everyone.”
(This is code for he is tired of crock pot meals and wants steak.)
Well, it’s taken care of, so just make yourself something if you want to.
“Okay, how do I buy groceries?”
With your debit card.
(He goes to the discount grocery outlet, because he thinks *he* is paying for groceries. I’m a big believer that a teenager needs a way to have their own money! In our house, there are certain things he pays for; groceries in general are not one of those things! But stocking his snacks and mini fridge with junk food is something he buys with his money. But also know that I can’t pass his favorite cookies in the grocery store without making sure he has his own bag!)
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I watch his location in the parking lot after 20 minutes before calling him. “Are you lighting one up or something??”
(No, my child does not smoke or do drugs. We keep an open conversation about this! So yes, sometimes I’ll joke about it just to keep open communication light. Is this the best parenting tactic? I’m not sure. Ask me in ten years.)
“No, I’m finding videos of recipes I want to cook.”
(One of my teenager’s hobbies is cooking. I get a lot of cooking reels sent to me during the school day with “Can we make this?” It might not seem important, but I know cooking with me, taking an interest in him cooking, and feeding him his favorite meals is a love language for him!)
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Walk into the kitchen to see five things of meat. He’s chopping potatoes. Spices are everywhere. Video commentary rolling.
“Did you know chicken was so cheap?! Steak is expensive, so I only got two packs.”
(Your teenager is learning financial decisions. It’s the hands-on experiences like grocery shopping that help them learn the real world of finances.)
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“Hey, are you like working or anything tonight? No, okay, can you finish meal prepping for me and take pictures along the way?”
(He sends me videos.)
Where are you going?
(Did I have to finish meal prepping for my son on my to-do list? No, but it took five minutes to pack it all up and watch the over timer, so that’s an easy yes!)
“My friend said they would pay me if I brought them food on their break.”
Does “they” have a name?
(Girl’s name.)
Ah, I see.
(I’ll admit that I thought a tracking app would be my greatest asset as a parent to a teenager. However, it’s still important to ask about friends and whereabouts! All the technology in the world can’t replace an interest in your teenager’s life and checking in to make sure they are safe.)
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PLUS side to all of this: he loves to cook and cleaned the kitchen!
Do you see that the teenage years are going to take some humor and patience? Someone told me it’s like going back to toddler years. Teenagers still need hand-holding; there are bigger problems and sometimes you’ll need to take both of their hands and walk with them. It is absolutely worth the commitment!
Find yourself some parents of teenagers or parents that have already raised their kids to help you through! You’ll find you have a lot in common, and that you are not alone.
Love this Danielle!