As both a mom of two and a photographer of nine years, I’ve spent countless hours behind and in front of the camera. I know the struggle of wanting to take all the photos while also trying to be present in them. More importantly, I understand the hesitation many of us feel when it’s our turn to be in front of the lens. We’ve gained weight, our skin isn’t the same as it was five years ago, we just aren’t feeling like ourselves.
But you need to be in the photos! So let’s talk about some real, practical tips that will help you feel more confident both taking and being in photos this holiday season:
Let’s start with something that has transformed how my clients feel about selfies (with and without friends): the head tilt technique. This isn’t your typical “find your good side” advice. If you have features you’re self-conscious about, like a prominent jaw, try giving the camera your forehead by slightly tilting your chin down. It might feel awkward at first, but this actually works with the natural distortion of phone cameras to create a more balanced look. On the flip side, if you feel your forehead is larger, gently push your jaw toward the camera. The key is to practice these movements alone on your own camera until they feel natural. You’ll be amazed at how such subtle adjustments can make such a big difference in your photos. And don’t think it’s just you; as most people reach their arm out to take a selfie, their forehead naturally leans back.
Now, let’s talk about full-body photos; you know, the most dreaded photo after two plates of banana pudding. Here’s something most people don’t realize: leaning away from the camera is actually working against you. Remember, the phone cameras have a natural distortion to them, and the parts of your body that are closer to the lens will appear larger. When you lean back, you’re inadvertently making your midsection bigger in proportion to the photo. Instead, try standing straight or even leaning slightly forward. It might feel counterintuitive, but trust me, this simple adjustment can completely change how your body looks in photos. Also, try tilting the entire phone in different ways to adjust height perceptions. And if you flip the phone upside down and put it on the ground angled up, everyone will have mile long legs.
Speaking of group photos (holidays are all about cramming everyone together for that one perfect shot): place taller people in the back, maybe even on a step. This eliminates that awkward cheerleader pose in the front row while everyone else towers over them. And stop facing the sun for goodness sake! Trust me; all you’ll get is squinting faces and blown-out highlights. Modern phone cameras actually handle backlighting pretty well, so try positioning the sun more behind your group or, even better, find some nice shade near a building.
As moms, we often become the designated family photographer by default, so use this role to your advantage. When you’re the one with the phone, you have control over which photos get shared in the family group text. You can take multiple shots, immediately delete the ones where someone’s eyes are closed, and pick the most flattering angles. Plus, you can quickly edit and share photos while everyone’s still together, rather than waiting for someone else to finally send them to the group chat weeks later and you have one eye open and one half closed.
This might be a bit controversial, but don’t forget about photo editing on cell phone photos. I’ve had countless clients who’ve almost deleted precious photos because of small things they couldn’t see past. Things that were easily fixable. Modern editing apps or local photographers (like me) can work wonders: smoothing out bra bulges, fixing flyaway hair, even helping with those angles we talked about earlier. I know some people have strong feelings about photo editing, but here’s my perspective: it’s cheaper than a tummy tuck and far less risky. And if you’re supportive of other people (mostly moms) getting other types of actual “work” done, think about this as a digital version. What matters most is that moms are in photos with their loved ones, however they want to show up.
Ok, here’s a pro level tip that not many people know about: put your phone camera in RAW mode for the season. Yes, these files take up more storage space, but they give you so much more flexibility when editing (and you’ll want to edit these). You can fix lighting issues and make adjustments that wouldn’t be possible with regular photos. Just remember to switch back to normal mode after the holidays to save space. And keep in mind the computer enhancements won’t be visible on your raw images. On my Pixel 9, I shoot RAW with a JPG as well, so I have both options.
Now here’s my most important tip, and it’s more about mindset than technique: GET IN THE PICTURE! I know it can be tempting to stay behind the camera when you’re not feeling yourself. Maybe you’ve put on a few pounds, didn’t get your roots done, or just have always shied away from the camera. But let me tell you something: years from now, your kids won’t care about any of that. They’ll just be grateful to have photos of you and them.
So, there are tips from a photographer mom. The best camera is the one we have, so use those cell phones and take all the photos! And don’t be too hard on yourself. We often look at photos and critique them for social media. But that’s not the reason we take them. As a matter of fact, these photos don’t even have to be posted; they can be just for you and your family. What matters is that you exist in photos with your loved ones. Whether they are looked at tomorrow or 20 years from now.
