Do the things people say to you while out in public ever blow your mind? At this point, nothing should surprise me — folks feel so free to comment on our lives (thanks social media!) — but lately, things have hit a new level.
Our family has changed a lot over the last two years.
Since 2021, we have moved to Chattanooga (three hours from all family support), changed jobs, and added two sweet foster additions to our family. It has been a wild ride to say the least. I have also had to learn to navigate life with four boys four and under with less “village support” as a stay-at-home mom.
So I kind of get it. While I am out in public with my four-year-old, 34-month-old, 19-month-old, and four-month-old, I am sure I am a sight to behold. One of my kids is always asking for something and needs help, and there is sure to be a melt down. Maybe this is where all the public comments come from.
Lately though, one comment has crept under my skin. Not too long ago, a lady I don’t know asked me: “Aren’t you sad you don’t have a girl?” When she asked, I was in the cereal aisle trying to figure out which cereal qualified for my foster child’s WIC while my two youngest were one second away from meltdowns. Maybe it was the circumstances I was in, but I looked at her and said, “Actually, I am just content the way we are. Thank you.” She then had the audacity to continue by saying “Well, you need a girl to take care of you later in life.”
I was floored. Not only did this woman feel comfortable saying this to a complete stranger, but she actually thought that what she was saying made sense.
At first, I was angry that a complete stranger would say such a thing. But I also realized that I was angry because it’s hard for us to go out without someone commenting on our family size. My emotions had been building…and then I realized that I am content just the way we are and there is nothing wrong with that.
People are so focused on the next great thing, specifically what we don’t have versus all the amazing things we do have. But the reality is that my family is blessed with four wonderful little boys who are thriving. Our family feels complete and we are happy, and that is cause for celebration.
Do you feel me?
The constant outside pressure to focus on what we still need to achieve is immense, but I am here to tell you that once you are content with being just the way you are, you find peace. You let go of the outside comments, you become so much happier, and you start living life in the moment instead of always looking ahead. And, being content doesn’t mean you’re not working for your dreams, family, and future.
One of the things that has held me back from being content for so long is thinking that being content meant that you stopped trying to make changes or grow. But once I wrapped my mind around the fact that you can be content in your current situation while still having dreams, I opened a new door.
I am so content with where we are right now in life. Being content allows me to be present and that brings happiness. That doesn’t mean that my husband and I still don’t have goals, but those goals are based on what we want, not what a random person thinks our family needs.
Everyone’s version of content will look different and that’s okay.
So, my advice to all mommas and families is this: don’t let the opinion of others affect you. Be content with where you are and find joy in it. Life is short, babies don’t keep, and we don’t have time to waste on what others may think is right for your family.
