Did I cry in the Target aisle today over the cutest baby things? Yes, I did! My kids are now “big kids,” but I still get to be around babies being a labor and postpartum doula. Doing this has reminded me of the natural struggles that Moms go through during this time. I consider it a blessing to serve them! It’s made me empathic all over again to make sure I’m looking out for Moms after they have a baby. Really, the whole family, but this is a mom’s blog, so we are going to focus on you.
Did you know the postpartum stage isn’t just the first few weeks?
Physically, it can take six months for your hormones to adjust. This can extend to two years of adjustment considering the stressors you have in life. Your doctor will see you just six weeks after having your baby for a health check. This does not mean that they are getting a full picture of your health. If you are feeling off with mental or physical health, please reach out to your doctor!
The most important thing that a mom needs after birth is emotional care.
Yes, it’s nice to have a clean house, meals, and new baby gifts, but Mom needs to be checked on emotionally. Moms need to be seen and heard. It’s so easy to swoop in and want to hold the baby. Pause. Ask Mom how she is doing first. Give her the opportunity to tell you what she needs.
Here are some things YOU can do to help Moms postpartum:
• Be a listening ear. Don’t just say “What can I do to help?” Instead, ask specific questions. You can remember what it was like to be a Mom! I know you’ll be a good listener.
• If Mom has bigger kids, get them for a playdate with your kids so Mom can be alone with baby.
• Drop off a meal (or DoorDash). Make sure to ask for any dietary restrictions.
• Tell them you’re on the way with coffee to drop off.
• Hire a house cleaner for them or be the house cleaner if your relationship is comfortable with that. My friends love to use me for cleaning and organizing.
• Send some happy mail or a card.
• If you’re out shopping, ask what you can pick up at the store for them to drop off.
• Take a walk or sit outside with Momma.
• Book an in-house massage for Mom.
• Volunteer to go with her to doctor appointments.
You can ask yourself these questions when you’re helping a Mom postpartum: “What did I need? What are my gifts that I can use to serve her? Have I checked in when she’s quiet?”
If you’re a Mom in the postpartum stage, here’s your to do list:
• Get 20 minutes of sunshine a day.
• Drink plenty of fluids.
• Eat when baby eats, even if it’s a small snack.
• Put housework on hold and delegate.
• Get rest at night and a nap or two during the day. Newborn babies are the best for cuddles! Stay close to baby to learn their cues.
• Talk with someone face to face for a minimum of 15 minutes a day. Tell them how you’re feeling and what you need.
You live in a great area, whether you are in the heart of Chattanooga or on the outskirts! Choose one or a few of the places suggested below to meet other moms in your neighborhood:
Chattanooga meet-up groups:
The Mom Walk Co. Chattanooga
Local parks
Mom Chatts
MOPS groups (moms of young children)
The Momentum Network (for solo parenting while in college)
Postpartum physical support:
La Leche League
Fit4Mom
Chattanooga Moms Facebook Group (for local events and writings)
Chattanooga Moms Facebook Group (poll the local moms)
Pelvic floor therapy (ask your insurance and also the moms’ groups; there are several good ones in the area)
Postpartum counseling (again, start with insurance and reach out to others for recommendations; there is never shame in getting professional help no matter how big or small your needs)
What did you need postpartum that you didn’t receive? What was something someone did for you that was most helpful?
