Every so often, I see a video floating around social media telling a mom about how she only has her kids for 18 summers and so she better savor up all the time she has with them. This video evokes two emotions in me. One, time is fleeting so sweep the floor later and spend time with them. Two, it sends an anxiety through us that we need to do ALL the things and pack in as much into the seasons and different celebrations as possible. This, in turn, can make us miss the tiny little moments that are important and precious.
The start of a new phase in our lives and the arrival of autumn has me looking at and evaluating what we consider important.
What is helping our family grow in all the ways we desire and what is hindering us? Now that our oldest has started school it means she spends less time with us and makes those times together more important. At the beginning of summer, I had all these ideas to have people over for playdates and cookouts, to utilize our backyard to the fullest, and to have adult conversations to fill my cup. My dreams did not come true. We didn’t have as many friends over as I hoped (it was too hot to be outside). I dropped the ball in that area but guess what? Summer still happened. We still played with some friends, we swam, built forts, went for walks, celebrated the holidays, sweated like no tomorrow, and created tiny little moments to store up.
The arrival of fall rolls out the festivals, pumpkin patches, apple picking farms, and “things to do” lists everywhere. The twins have started waking up and asking, “Where are we going today?” I’ve started responding with, “Do we have to go somewhere?” Some days, I’m tired of doing and tired of going. Two years ago, we went to a farm to go on a hayride, get pumpkins, and do a corn maze. My kids enjoyed it. Last year, I stopped by a roadside stand to let them pick pumpkins to paint. My kids enjoyed it just as much as the farm and were so proud of their pumpkins. This year, we got pumpkins from the store and they went to town painting them. My kids weren’t upset; in fact they enjoyed it just as they had when we stopped at the roadside stand the year before. There was no begging or complaining about not going to a farm to get them. The other weekend, we drove up to Wheeler’s Orchard for my yearly apple order to make apple butter. As much as I would have loved for us to pick apples, sadly they were not doing it this year. However, they had a little kids’ nook in their store where they colored, played, and read books. We ended our time with a picnic lunch at the town playground and a jaunt through the splash pad. It was a fun day and our kids were smiling big at the end.
These are the days we want. These are the moments we treasure and help our family grow. We don’t need to have anxiety that they won’t enjoy life if we don’t do and go to all the things you’re “supposed” to in their 18 years under our roof. Our kids just want to spend time with us.
So mama, I give you permission to have a simple fall. To not go to that pumpkin patch but to pick up a pumpkin from a store for your kid to carve. To have a picnic under a tree and enjoy the cool breeze. To read some story books about the season and then go on a nature scavenger hunt. To snuggle down on the couch with a stack of books to read together. Because the day will still come and go whether you go somewhere or not. Fall will still happen whether you do all the fall things or not.
