Keeping Birthdays Simple

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Keeping Birthdays Simple

For the past few years, we’ve never done anything other than family parties for our children’s birthdays, but with their special days quickly approaching, I’ve been thinking about parties.

When did children’s birthday parties become so extravagant?

Our children’s birthdays are three weeks apart, so when and if we do bigger parties, they will be combined for as long as we can get away with it. Plus, my kids’ birthdays are around the big holiday season and that’s when schedules fill up. 

Our oldest was born in 2018 and when her first birthday rolled around, we settled on having a simple gathering at my in-law’s with family. Why did she need anything bigger than that? She wasn’t even going to remember it. I know people say the party is more for the parents to celebrate making it a year than it is for the child, but we heard of people going on huge trips for their child’s first birthday.

Why? Why would you do that?

If your baby is an awesome traveler, then go for it, but you’re playing with fire at that point. For my daughter’s second birthday, it was Covid year, so there’s that. I don’t even remember if we did anything, but I was very pregnant and three weeks later the twins arrived. We did another family party for first and third birthdays, and then we were at a family gathering the following year. 

Our oldest is at the stage where she is starting to remember and saying she wants certain things. However, she also forgets she asks for things and doesn’t realize when she doesn’t get what she wants. For instance, leading up to Christmas, she kept saying she was going to get a Gabby’s Dollhouse and when she didn’t get it, she never even realized or complained. I know that won’t last forever though. We’ve been to a few birthday parties over the last few years and I’m thankful that none of them were over the top extravagant so that our daughter can’t compare when she does have a bigger party.

An article I read on USA Today stated that in a survey by MarketWatch that the average parent spends around $400 on a party for their child. That’s the average, with others spending thousands. I can’t even imagine. I know there are people who have the money to do that and that’s great for them, but not everyone can. I almost want to say, “Bring the simple back again!” Why do we have to outdo one another? I think back to the parties I had as a kid and I honestly can’t remember all of them, but there are a few that stand out. The ones that stand out were nothing extravagant; they were just simple, fun times with good friends and that’s what I want for my kids. One year, we played volleyball and had a scavenger hunt around our housing development. Another time, we played some games, went to see the new Star Wars movie and then camped in the yard. One of my elementary parties was a dress up and sleepover party. 

Another reason I’ve avoided friend parties is because of the gifts. Ugh, the gifts. With birthdays so close to Christmas, large extended families, and limited space in our house, I don’t want to invite more than needed. I already struggle making Christmas lists for the kids because I feel like we’re in a season where they don’t NEED much if anything. At this point, I like the Fiver Party idea. Kids will remember experiences more. And then there’s the party favors to give out. I understand they are a thank you to the people who attend, but what do you give as a favor that won’t be dreaded by the parent? You’ve already entertained and fed their children. Most favors seem to be along the lines of cheap plastic happy meal toys that no one wants to begin with. And if I don’t want it in my own house, then I’m not going to give it to your child to take home. We went to a party once that had medium sized dinosaur toys as the favor and my kids still play with them. Another party had a candy bar to build your own candy bag. How about a trail mix bar or a mini coloring pad with a few crayons? 

I know you all are probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “Just wait, your day will come” and I’m sure it will, but for now, I’m enjoying the family parties.

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Kimberly Casey
Hi, my name is Kimberly and I am a new stay at home mom. I am a nomad of sorts. Born in Arkansas to a military family of five children, I was speaking German by the age of 4. I have lived in Germany, England, and the United States and have traveled to countless other countries. In 2006 I moved to Providence, Rhode Island in order to attend Johnson & Wales University where I received a Bachelor's degree in Food Service Management, an Associate's in Culinary Arts, and an Associate's in Baking and Pastry Arts. So you could say that I'm a foodie.  After college I worked in Collegiate Ministry for many years and loved every second of it. I would do it again in a heartbeat if given the chance today. I met my husband, Wade, in 2011 through Collegiate Ministry but we didn't start dating until 2015. Our entire relationship was long distance and we saw each other a total of 10 times before our wedding. After our wedding in 2016, I moved to Chattanooga where my husband is an associate pastor and I can say that this move was one of the hardest things I had ever done. After two years of marriage we welcomed our daughter into the world this past October. She is a joy, loves to smile, and has turned our world upside down. If I'm not in the kitchen baking or cooking, you can find me outside enjoying nature.