With August upon us, it seems that there is a collective shift from thinking about summer fun to thinking about the school year and all the things that come with it. It evokes so many different emotions depending on how mamas feel about the summertime dynamics in their home vs. the school year. I know for me there are mixed emotions: all of the playing in the summer is so, so fun, yet there’s a part of our family that is ready for the school year and all that it holds.
As the academic calendars are officially posted and the emails are rolling in about activities and commitments for children, as well as endless opportunities for mamas and parents to volunteer, it can be a lot to take in. Even just noticing whether you find yourself excited to think about and plan for the school year or whether it fills you with some sort of heaviness and such overwhelm that you want to avoid it at all costs, is noteworthy.
Wherever you land on this, the reality is that it is coming, so it can be helpful to remember that while many things might be out of your control (the early start times, homework, etc.), you get to influence how the school year feels for you and your family by how you approach it. One way to do this is to be reflective about the past and discerning of what you value most as you move forward into the new school year.
Consider Last Year
Reflect On The Past
Take a few minutes to reflect on the last school year if you have a school age child or children: How was the year? What were the best parts? What felt most overwhelming? What commitments were enjoyable and meaningful? And what felt like extra weight, something that you or your children did, but was not especially enjoyable or meaningful?
Then, Consider This New School Year
Name Your Values
Spend some time brainstorming about what you and your family value most. Naming values first can be really helpful for then discerning the rest of the details. When you have a few leading values, it can help you prioritize your commitments.
Implement A Pause
Just because you are asked to, does not mean that you have to. Instead of being at the mercy of any ask, you can discern if it’s the right timing and the right season for you to say yes and commit. Sometimes it is, and if you discern that after a pause to consider what is being asked of you or your spouse or kids, then you can say yes wholeheartedly. Other times, after thinking about it, you may have more clarity that it’s a no or just a “not right now” kind of thing. By allowing for the pause in an answer, yeses are more likely to be authentic, thought through kinds of commitments.
Setting Boundaries
If you are resenting anyone else for any of your commitments, consider that this is less about the other person and more about getting reflective about your own setting of boundaries. Anyone can ask anything of you, but it’s up to you to discern what are your yeses and what are your nos.
What Support Do You Need?
If you are overwhelmed at all by what is coming, creatively consider what support you need. Whether it’s carpooling, simpler meals, help with your home or yard, a morning devotion, a commitment to move your body, a babysitter, an intentional date night, a new chore chart for kids to lend more of a hand, these kinds of things can make a difference in how the new school year feels. Taking care of yourself is key for being able to take care of your children and to do everything else you value.
Seasons And Permission To Reevaluate
Consider your commitments just for the next step — whether it’s something that requires a year commitment or simply a semester or even shorter commitment — then take it one step at a time. You can then keep paying attention to how it’s going and reevaluate whether it’s a continued commitment or just a seasonal one.
For a post more specific about discernment of kids’ activities, read here. For a post that supports the concept of setting boundaries in order to have more margin in your life, read here. For a post that encourages the goodness of unstructured play, which often happens when we are not so busy that there is no time to play, read here.
