Summer in all its sunshine, later bedtimes, and water play is so much fun, yet sometimes can be especially challenging for moms in the self-care department. Summer requires an extra amount of switching gears, juggling on mom’s part, and shifting schedules. Amidst the fun and playfulness there can be a real challenge for moms to integrate self-care into their days, so that they care for their own well-being while caring for children and other responsibilities. This can lead to some extra exhaustion and overwhelmedness, really making the invitation for self-care even more important yet harder to attend to.
Let’s Talk Strategies
Consider what support you need.
What kind of structure do you and your family need in the summer? Are you home with your children each day and that works well or do you need some additional care for your children? Building in some additional support can allow you to do some things you need to do whether it means working outside the home or more intentionally caring for yourself.
Pay attention to how your days start.
What do you need in the mornings to feel more ready for your day? If only one thing happens that makes you feel ready for the day ahead, what is that one thing?
Practice “First this and then…” with your kids.
Oftentimes, moms get into a cycle of so much pouring out that they can feel resentful when their kids ask things of them. While we want to serve our kids, it’s also important that you pay attention to your needs too. One strategy I really like is naming first what you need. This will look different for each family and person, and perhaps it’ll be different each day, but it’s one that you can adapt and change with your priorities. This strategy does not mean you are selfish, but that you are acknowledging that you have needs as well and are taking initiative to care for yourself.
- First mom is going to drink her coffee and have a few minutes of quiet, and then we are going to the park.
- First mom needs to work, and then we will go swimming later today.
- First mom needs a shower, and then we will play.
- First the house needs some attention, and then we will connect with your friends.
Involve your kids in reset opportunities around the house.
While the house need not be perfect all the time, especially when everyone is home, it certainly helps to set a time periodically leading up to transitions in the day (before lunch, before we go to the pool, before we take the bike ride) to take a few minutes to reset the space you call home.
As a family member, your child can be a help in making the house not be in utter chaos. You can make the responsibilities developmentally appropriate for your kids, but remember the old expression that “many hands make light work.” Asking your kids to pick up their toys and put them in a basket, pick up dirty clothes off the floor, make their beds, clear their plates from the table, take out the recycling, empty the dishwasher, etc., is appropriate and cultivates a team approach to caring for the space you live in.
Develop your own flexibility muscle.
If you are someone who thrives on the routine of the school year and perhaps some quiet in your days that kids going to school allows, then summer may feel especially chaotic. It can be hard to switch gears, change plans, and have everyone home so much. There is a level of chaos that can naturally make someone long for a little more quiet and calm, yet there is beauty in this chaos. How can you strengthen this part of you that makes you more adaptable and able to thrive in the summertime? What can you let go of and release instead of holding so tightly? What are your non-negotiables and what can you be more laid back about?
Build in extra rest.
Whether it’s going to bed earlier, sleeping a little later, or the possibility of some rest time in the afternoon, most of us feel and function better when we get enough rest. Consider this for yourself and also consider your children. Would everyone feel better with more intentional rest?
Do something you enjoy.
So often we believe that we don’t have time to do anything we enjoy because of all that we are managing as moms. While it is true that it is a lot to manage, taking a few minutes to do something that brings delight to you can really affect how you feel. Get creative in finding ways to integrate something you enjoy into your days or weeks.
Remember that self-care does not have to be big.
Pay attention to what small things make you feel most like a person. Consider things that do not take a lot of time and things that are either free or not too expensive. Often these things are more sustainable to integrate into daily and weekly rhythms. Sometimes we minimize the small things, “a ten minute walk is not worth it,” yet a 10 minute walk is better than no walk. Reading a couple of pages of a book you enjoy is better than not reading at all. Remember that much of our life is built on small choices and moments and habits. Small is significant.
Integrate things you enjoy into the family rhythms.
Pay attention to what you enjoy and what makes you feel alive, well, and grounded. While it is important to do some of these things on your own, there can also be value in sharing these things with your child. If you love being outside, then get outside with your child. If you love swimming, then how can swimming be prioritized this summer? If you love reading, then can reading each evening or regular trips to a local library or bookstore be part of your family rhythms?
