Life has been…heavy. Times have been…tough. Between single mom-life, grief, and divorce, I am still attempting to navigate this new normal. That being said, I realize I’ve allowed everything — big and small — to consume me. While I have relied so heavily on friendships, I have not really reciprocated the friendliness. Text messages are oftentimes left unread for days on end, phone calls aren’t always returned, and birthdays are missed.
When my mom passed almost two years ago, the meals kept coming. For weeks, we were not lacking in food. This food meant so much to us. I remember seeing some of our friends as they would drop off their meals. The encounters I remember less though. I don’t remember what was said or what wasn’t. I can recall though that the very first meal we received was a chicken casserole dish that tasted almost identical to the one my mom would make. I meant to write thank you cards. I truly did, but never got around to it. Since then, there are certain women who have shown up on birthdays, on a random bad day, or just to help me not feel so alone. They have no idea what their thoughtfulness has done for me during this time.
2024 is the year in which I am consciously putting in the effort to be a better friend.
I have started marking my personal calendar to remind myself of my friends’ birthdays and other memorable moments (upcoming appointments, test days, anniversaries, etc.). When those dates are listed on my calendar, I can pray for those moments and reach out when needed. It truly helps me remember things that are important to my friends. This year, I am going to try my very best to be more responsive to text messages. I will admit that my biggest unpopular opinion is that phone conversations are important, but I know not everyone feels the same. So, if you receive a phone call, it’s because I really love you. I am trying to be a better listener. Although the weight of the day sometimes makes it difficult to focus on conversations, I am intentionally working on being a better listener for my friends. Maybe this list is short, but sometimes you need to take baby steps to get where you need to be.
What about your friendships? How do you maintain positive friendships despite life? I would love to hear your tips.
