Today is yet another example, if we need one, of how difficult parenting is and how important it is to have your village support you and your child.
Here I am, facing down my young cherub after a week of being busy with family and working on various life skills such as sharing and being thoughtful of others. She’s always struggled with the concept of releasing control in moments to someone other than herself: e.g., Cousin A gets to choose the movie, Cousin B has a game she wants to play in a way that is opposite of my young one’s plans for the game, and Goodness forbid anyone push the elevator button out of turn order.
Usually, she is pretty honest and follows the rules. There are certainly up and down times, but I’d begun to trust her to do activities without supervision that she’d previously been somewhat unreliable about. Case in point: iPad time and YouTube. We’ve had the battle for many years that, I’d hoped, had reached a certain level of understanding. You can use your iPad to do X, Y, and Z. At no time do any of those things intercept with YouTube without Mom’s approval. If you are on a specific YouTube video after approval, any changes to the following videos must also be brought to a parent. These rules are put in place to hopefully prevent the unfortunately likely scenario of her stumbling across inappropriate material.
So what do I do when I discover her on YouTube with her younger cousins? Then I found out she carefully omitted the information when her grandparents asked if she could use YouTube at their house when she was spending the night.
So, what now?
Good question. As I sit here hurt, sad, and trying to do the leading without my ADHD impulses guiding the way, I have very few ideas. I’ve made the consequence for the broken trust be that she gets to ride home from Ohio to Tennessee as we did back in the dark ages, sans technology. She finds the idea beyond horrifying; as consequences go, it’s hopefully a good one to help her remember to follow her word when working with technology.
Now, I have to decide what we are going to do in the future to help prevent further transgressions and how to impart to her just how important it is that I can trust her with her technology usage so that she stays safe in the future as the world slowly grows wider, deeper, and definitely more dangerous at her fingertips.
