My daughter is currently in her side-hustle era. I’m not sure if this is a normal rite of passage for the average nine-year-old, but I suspect it might be. After all, isn’t this the age when entrepreneurial dreams take shape in living rooms across America? The lemonade stands, the handmade friendship bracelets for sale to neighbors, the impromptu “concerts” for ticketed audiences of bewildered grandparents.
We don’t yet have a set schedule for chores and how she can earn money, but I’m wrestling with how to approach her eagerness for financial freedom.
I, of course, want to teach her as much about financial responsibility as I can, while also allowing her to enjoy the creativity and sheer fun that should come with being nine. She is still a child, and I want her to have the freedom to buy silly, childhood things with her hard-earned dollars. (Except slime. Queue the existential horror. No slime allowed. Ever. I’m drawing a firm, glitter-filled line in the sand on that one.)
Beyond her need to acquire goo that sticks to everything I love, her wish list includes a mermaid tail she can swim in, fancy Minecraft skins, endless crafting supplies (which we already supply somewhat regularly), and a rotating cast of trendy knick-knacks her friends are currently obsessed with — all reasonable things for a nine-year-old with big dreams.
But here’s where I get stuck: what’s appropriate for her to earn if we set up a chore system?
Should she make money for regular household tasks or should it only be for “extra” work? After all, household chores are part of life. We all chip in because we share this home and its messes. Right now, she’s in charge of the cats — feeding, watering, and cleaning litter boxes. I could pay her a small weekly stipend for those tasks, but deep down I worry: does paying for routine responsibilities teach her the wrong lesson? Later in life, no one hands you five bucks for unloading the dishwasher.
Then, there’s her relationship with her grandparents, who live downstairs in their apartment. She’s been so helpful to them, cleaning windows, vacuuming carpets, assisting with little odds and ends. Part of me beams with pride at her willingness to pitch in, but another part worries. I don’t want her to expect payment every time she helps family. Helping loved ones — without thinking about “what’s in it for me” — is something I want her to carry into adulthood.
So here I sit, torn between two worlds. Do we give her a small allowance each week, unrelated to chores, so she can start learning about budgeting and saving? Or do we tie earnings directly to specific “above-and-beyond” jobs, like washing the car or organizing the garage? Maybe a hybrid of both?
I never received an allowance growing up, and I turned out fine. But times are different now. I want her to know the value of work and money, but also the joy of giving without expecting anything in return. So maybe the real question isn’t about slime or mermaid tails or allowance at all. Perhaps it’s about how to raise a child who feels capable, responsible, and generous all at once.
