MAYhem

May is only second to December in the rankings for most chaotic months of the year. On top of all of the normal life demands there are field days, graduations, two holidays, and all the kids’ spring sports tournaments. I have been running like a chicken with my head cut off trying to be there for every event, and not just show up, but actually be present and enjoy each event. Some days are more successful than others. School is wrapping up, which means anticipating schedule and budget changes for childcare, outings, and, if you’re like me, a huge increase in the grocery budget.

Is anyone else out there just treading water at this point? 

Ironically, May is also Mental Health Awareness Month. When my friend pointed that out to me I actually laughed. This month is one of the hardest to find any time to take care of myself and honestly, my anxiety has been super high with so many events and obligations on my to-do list. I know you’re thinking that Mother’s Day literally just happened, so how can I feel like there is no time for self-care? I am incredibly grateful for the women in my life and the privilege of becoming a mother, but that precious day also comes with lots of shopping, planning, and schedule adjusting. 

How can I love the people around me well and do all the things, but also keep myself from having a total meltdown? I don’t have it all figured out just yet, but I do have a few strategies I’m going to try. 

I definitely intend on being more mindful about meditation. Meditation may sound a little bizarre to some of you, but it is scientifically proven to help alleviate pain, reduce anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, and more. Plus, meditation is free, so you have nothing to lose! I get a lot of road rage and anxiety driving, especially if I’m in a rush or there are rowdy kids in the back (so pretty much always, haha). I’ve started playing mindful meditation tracks on YouTube or Audible when I drive and it has helped so much. 

I’m also trying to reframe my obligations with the phrase, “I get to…” rather than, “I have to…” This is a small step in shifting my point of view from feeling stressful to feeling grateful. I get to go to my son’s school party rather than miss a sweet moment. I get to show my family how much I love them by giving gifts on Mother’s Day. I get to do my job because I am able-bodied. It is taking time, but it lifts a little weight to shift into gratitude.

I’m learning to set boundaries. I physically can’t say yes to every single thing asked of me. Love it or hate it, Rachel Hollis’ new book Girl, Stop Apologizing got me thinking about the way I viewed boundaries. I will say yes to almost any favor asked of me. I’ll send money for anything asked, even if I don’t have much. I’ll run myself to death to avoid missing out on an invitation. These are qualities I love about myself, but when life is busy I owe it to myself and the other people I love the most to not settle for the leftovers. Maybe you are a people pleaser like me. Let’s give ourselves permission to say, “Not this time.” Or maybe even just no. Someone else can bake the cupcakes this time. The world will not end if you don’t volunteer to chaperone that one field trip. 

Probably the hardest thing for me to implement is this last one: rally the troops. We can’t be at two places at once. Even if we could, how present would we really be at either place? It is okay to ask friends and family to step in to support you and your family. This can mean asking a friend to pick your daughter up from pre-k, sending your son to the dentist with grandma so you don’t have to take off work again, or even scheduling a coffee date with your best friend to de-stress. I don’t know you girl, but I know you have people who love you. It is more than okay to reach out. It doesn’t make you weak or less of a mom to tag in your teammates. 

Here’s to the MAYhem, mama. We’ve got this.