In less than a month, my sweet baby boy will be two-years-old, and THAT is an event worth celebrating. You see, birthdays were super special and were always celebrated with a party when I was a child. I had one almost every year and those memories are some of the best highlights of childhood, so when I became a mom, I knew without question I would keep this tradition going.
Year one of my son’s life sped by and before we knew it, it was birthday time. I, being the party planner that I am, had his theme, “A Little Mister Mustache Bash” chosen before we were even discharged from the hospital after his birth. Then, over the year I scoured Pinterest, Instagram, and the internet to figure out exactly how I wanted his party to look. On the day of, I proudly decorated with the cutest mustache decorations you ever did see, I made an accent wall that highlighted his milestone pictures, the food table was perfectly decorated with cute little signs around our delicious food, the cake table (yes, we had a cake table at a one year old’s birthday party) held a cupcake stand with the most adorable cupcakes with mustache toppers, and we even had a piñata.
Everything was just perfect! But guess what? The birthday boy had no clue what was going on.
As I came back down to reality and took a step back to think logically, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “Why do we, as moms, do this?” Why do we put all this pressure on ourselves to have the picture-perfect party for our littles when in reality, they could not care less? Most times, children only want to be surrounded by the people they love, eat, and play, and there are even some kids who do not want a fuss made over their birthday at all. They don’t care about the fanfare today’s society has made us feel we have to create. This got me thinking about other options we have besides throwing a party for our birthday boys and girls.
Recently I had this conversation with one of my girlfriends and she shared an idea I loved. For her daughter’s birthday, she only does milestone birthday parties. This is where you celebrate each birthday, but save the huge celebrations for the extra special birthdays like when your child turns one, five, ten, 13, and of course their sweet 16th. I loved this idea because it gives parents like me, who love a good party, a chance to do our thing, but it reigns us in a bit so that we don’t go overboard every single year. Since you are only throwing a party every few years, you can go all out and put Pinterest to shame during party years and not feel guilty doing so. This also helps with parents of multiples, as big parties for every child every year can quickly get a mom in over her head.
Then, there’s the gift of experiences for those who want to indeed celebrate, but would rather do so sans the party invitations, birthday hats, and confetti. You could always forego the huge birthday celebration and give your child a memorable experience instead. This can be a fun trip they’ve been wanting to go on (hello, Disney), attending a special show that’s coming to town, or even a first experience like horseback riding or rock climbing. Your birthday kiddo can enjoy these activities solo, with family, or could even invite a special friend to share in the excitement. These sorts of festivities can make your birthday babe feel special on their big day and easily be some of their favorite birthday memories. They also allow people, like out of town guests who might not have been able to attend a party, in on the fun as they can gift your child with tickets to a plethora of these fun activities.
Of course, there are some children who do not want a celebration of any kind. If this is your kiddo, there is another option that keeps it very simple, yet still recognizes their special day. You could stay home, make their favorite meal, let them watch their favorite movie, and then take all that money you would have invested in the party and share a gift that will allow them to celebrate in the future: put it in their savings account. As that money accumulates over the years, once your child is older and actually appreciates the significance of a birthday, they can use it for one of the experiences I mentioned above, a special gadget they have been eyeing, or even toward a bigger item like their first car! This option teaches appreciation, values, and responsibility, traits that are beneficial to us all. It also respects your child’s wishes for a low-key birthday.
Overall, I think when it comes to new age birthday celebrations, we (myself included) have set the bar quite high and put unnecessary pressure on ourselves.
It’s important that we really think about our children and their personalities, not ours. I love that we now have plenty of options which give us freedom to choose how to best celebrate our little people. Whether party planning is just not your thing, your little one is too young to understand, you do not see the value in grand celebrations, or your child simply does not want one, I hope this list makes life easier for you when those special days roll around.
As for my family, I think a nice mix of all of these options will work well. Regardless of what works best for your family, I hope you make an effort to take a moment and celebrate yourself on your child’s birthday. Remember, in addition to holding a special place in your child’s heart, it is an important day for you too, mama. It is the anniversary of the day your life changed forever and that is something to be celebrated. It may be their birthday, but we got the best gift of all: them.
