The Gift of Self-Expectation


The G

Every person’s soul is an original, composed of diverse constituents that are essential to whom we really are. Naturally, we are bound to what we are destined to be, and although we may take alternate routes, eventually we become enlightened to whom we really are. Think of it like this: we were dropped down on this Earth, and while we fell through each of Earth’s layers, pieces of who we were — our passions — were dispersed throughout the world. And like a boomerang as we journey through our life ever so slowly, different junctures make us stop to realize another one of our great passions has come to find us. 

Sounds joyous, right?

As we raise our little ones we are able to watch the same occur to them and it tickles us. It warms our heart to see that while our little one’s eyes light up at the sound of music, others find more thrills when they are able to jump into cool water on a sunny day. We enjoy watching some kids form unique bonds with animals, while others have a passion to express themselves through creative arts. The list goes on, but each and every one of you Mamas know the feeling.

Even at a young age we are able to see these passions develop within our kids, and let me just remind you, these moments are magical to watch. 

When I was a little girl my parents asked me frequently what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am sure that they were curious, wanting to also pat themselves on the back when they guessed correctly, or even shocked/tickled at some responses. I know this is the case for me as I watch my adorable son get his groove on more often than not these days. My mind wanders as I picture him joining a National Ballet School. Oh what a day!

But no matter what my son dabbles in, one thing remains the same: he has the right to be anything he wants to be one day. 

But this holds just as true: he will only master the craft he chooses only when he has the right mindset. Only when he makes the right decisions. Only when he sets expectations for himself, and only if his expectations are realistic. 

[Gasps inserted here.]

While it seems previous generations wanted to pave their children’s lives on the magic yellow brick road with praises for doing nothing, I am choosing an alternative way. It sounds so harsh, but as reality has it, it is crucial that my son understands expectations and goes even further to set them for himself. I would like to add that, having expectations for others is an entirely different matter than for oneself. Perhaps that’s a topic for another day.

Yes; first and foremost my son needs to be a kid because, to be an awesome adult, you need to have an awesome childhood. It is so important to me that his creativity is ignited in the most heightened way possible. But when he starts to spread his wings, he will need to find a way to mold his creativity and passion into something that will benefit him, because let’s face it: we all need to make sure we do things we love to keep us happy. And when you adult, why not do something you love? 

But what does it take to get to this point?

It’s simple: it takes self-expectation. I know plenty of people who frown at using the word expectation with a child, but it’s necessary, and doesn’t always have to have such a negative connotation. The word “expectation” means something to look forward to, something to hope for. Being hopeful is something people smile at, so why not the same for using the word expectation?

We live in a world that constantly tells us it’s ok to take the easy route and not have expectations. I hear more often than not, “It’s ok to lower your standards.” How can we not be brainwashed to think this way when we live in a world full of quickies that tend to lead to lowering our self-expectations? Everything comes quickly. From two-day delivery on Amazon and fast food, to “Googling it” because who wants to read an actual book…this is the world we live in. And this mama is guilty of this quick mindset at times. However, I have always considered myself old fashion in the sense that people should work for what they want, and work diligently.

I believe I have the gift of “self-expectation,” a term I have coined myself. Sometimes it’s a burden of guilt, but mostly it has helped me achieve ALL my goals. 

The initial action behind any goal we set for ourselves is derived from the person we envision ourselves to be. Whether this is to be a global citizen, an exercising fanatic, or and eco-friendly person, we HAVE to set expectations for ourselves to become that person. By doing so we are speaking good thoughts and motivation to ourselves because we BELIEVE we should achieve something, and we CAN. 

As a new year approaches, we start to get in the “new me” mindset. And every year, for the most part, we do the same thing. We start off strong and slowly we get back to the same person we were the year before. It’s hard to stick to our new expectations of ourselves because we want to indulge in the “old us.” But here is the reward: eventually this new you will just become you because you expected yourself to be that person. 

And what’s more rewarding than achieving the goal on your own, is that by setting an example, you are raising your children to behave in the same manner. And what a joy it will be when they are able to reach the goals they set for themselves because they learned boundaries for themselves. 

With a new year right around the corner, come new hobbies to be mastered. I want to encourage you all to set realistic goals, take small steps, and be the voice of expectation, because there is no one better to do so than YOU!