Siblings Separated


Siblings Separated My children are very close in age. They have played together since my youngest was born. Now, for the first time in three and a half years, they will be separated as my son heads into prek. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I read friends’ posts as they sent their children to school. One friend, who has children with a similar age gap, posted that her daughter cried all day for her brother. How would it go when my son started school? How would it go when they weren’t joined together at (my) hip?

So far a typical day has looked like this.

Sissy and I drop brother off at school and surprisingly she hasn’t really fussed yet. She plays on her own, but does seem to notice that he’s gone. She doesn’t say much about it. You can tell that something is missing from her day. One particular day, I took her to Chester Frost State Park to distract her. She played on the beach and in the water, and friends joined us. We have been there plenty of times, but always with little man in tow. She kept asking to go home. As the usual time came to pick my son up, she was quickly ready to go, which is saying something because pulling that girl away from playing outside is like pulling teeth! The first thing my son asked when we got him from school was what we had done that day. I told him we went to the lake and he started crying, “I want to go to the lake with you and SISSY!” My heart almost broke.

When it comes time to pick him up from school she is always over the top. Usually, when we get home, they sit on the couch together watching cartoons and snacking. She attacks him. She will not get off of him. She literally hugs and crawls and kisses all over him. She repeats, “I love you brother” over and over again. Eventually he gets annoyed and shoves her off. He puts up with a good five minutes and you can see his tension from the day melting away.

Every day I ask my son if he made any friends. He has stated time and again that he does not need more friends. When I ask why he says, “I have enough.” We have a couple of close friends that he adores, but he has told me several times without prompting that, “Sissy is my best friend.” He makes it clear that he misses her during the day. So far he has said playing alone at school makes him happy and he does not want more friends.

I love that they share such a close bond.

As the days go by, my children are becoming a little more adjusted, but they also continue to miss each other. They share a friendship that is unlike any other. It tears me apart and brings me joy that they miss each other so much. The days are a little easier hauling one kid around, but so much harder when they are apart. I hope with all my heart that they continue to feel this way, but that they can also branch out and grow as individuals. They both have unique personalities and I hope they come into their own. I hope they both make friends. I hope they become happy being away from each other, but also always keep places in their hearts for each other.

Mostly, I hope that no matter what, together or apart, they ALWAYS love each other. Even someday when I’m not in the equation, I hope they continue to seek each other out to play. I hope they will always be best friends, even when they are separated.