New Year, Same Me


New Year, Same Me

I cannot count the number of times I’ve heard “New Year, New You” in the past month. It’s marketing gold for sure, and I can see why. We’ve spent the better part of two months in the holiday mode, which often keeps us from eating right, taking care of ourselves, and dealing with responsibilities.

The start of a new year signifies a clean slate, a chance to start anew. It’s a beautiful thing to look at 12 unblemished months of potential and dream toward what can happen in 365 days, 8760 hours, and 525,600 minutes (anybody else a Rent fan?). 

I am a huge fan of goals in general, but I have to be honest, I’m terrible at keeping resolutions. I don’t know whether I set them too high, have low motivation, or life gets in the way, but my resolutions tend to fizzle out rather quickly. This past year in particular, as we got closer to the new year, I came up with a LONG list of things I needed to do better, things that needed to change. And let me tell you, it is a daunting list.

Each one of those bullet points is saddled with a negative opinion about myself. I’m lazy, I’m too stressed, I’m not a good friend, I’m not a good mom… The self-talk associated with the way I look at resolutions is dangerous for my mental health, and the fact that time and time again I fail at them makes me feel worse and worse about who I am.

Since I’m not always a great narrator for my own story, I’m giving my inner-me a new outlook on things. Despite my inner critic, there is so much goodness to bring with me from 2019. I have beautiful people in my life — a wonderful husband, sweet kids, and an unbeatable bunch of family and friends in my corner. I’ve got a good job that is allowing for growth. I’ve got my faith, which keeps me questioning and grounded at the same time. I’ve got who I am on the inside — my personality, my values, and my inner strength.

So this year, rather than focusing on all the things I need to change, I’m going to pay closer attention to all the things that I can take with me into 2020. I’m going to focus on the parts of me that I love and find ways to let them shine brighter. 

It may be a new year, but it’s still the same me. And that’s something to celebrate.