A few weeks ago, we had a Chattanooga Moms Blog Contributor event. All us moms who share our lives in the virtual world got together to interact face-to-face. It’s always such a great experience to meet with these other awesome moms and spend some time together, getting to know the women behind the posts.
As I walked up to the group, two of the moms were chatting and one turned to me to say, “We just want to know ONE THING you’re bad at!” One of these mamas is a friend, despite the fact that we have eight kids between us and only get to hang out a couple times a year. The other mama is a newer contributor that I was meeting for the first time. I laughed awkwardly, mind racing, and said “Oh, uh…I don’t sew!”
What I was really thinking was, “Sweet cheese on a cracker, you guys, I’m hanging on by a thread and feel like I’m terrible at everything!” As I pondered why the world thinks of me is so differently from what I think of myself, it was easy to point the finger at social media. I try my best to keep it real on the interwebz, but typically when my day (or week or month) is feeling like a total disaster, I want to highlight and remember the good stuff, not the bad.
I went back and browsed my social media accounts. I have my personal pages that I use to connect with friends and family, and I also have my professional pages that I use for my fitness following. What I saw was that I really am good at a lot of things, just not all at the same time.
There are weeks when I cook three meals a day and post photos with hashtags like #familydinner, #glutenfree and #dairyfree. Then there are weeks when I post all about my workouts or the fun things we’re doing as a family. I have my #homeschool success days and my #cleanhouse days, but these things are never all in the same day or even the same week.
Those weeks that my workouts are on point? I’m throwing Cheez-Its at the kids while I recover on the couch. The weeks when we’re having family dinners every night, my house is a wreck. When we’re nailing our homeschool game, the classes I teach at the gym are recycled and dinner is take-out or baloney sandwiches.
While I still sometimes beat myself up about all this, wishing I really could manage everything in my life the way it seems I do from the outside looking in, I’m learning to accept my limits and working with what I have.
Yes, some days I’m crying on my way to teach a class because I left the house in disarray and our schoolwork is horribly behind, but then I am reminded the example I’m setting for my kids when they see me juggle — often unsuccessfully — this crazy busy life we have. They see what my Instagram followers don’t: they see me try and fail. They see me pick myself up and do my best with the time and energy I have. They see me exhausted when I’ve taken on too much and they learn to care for me, understanding that mama is not the superwoman I often like to believe I am, but a fragile, real human being. They see that it’s ok to do big things, but also to say no when those big things get in the way of the even bigger things in life. When discussing this post with my 12-year-old he said, “You know, mom, we like it when you cook big dinners, but we also like it when you throw Cheez-Its at us. It’s kind of a treat!”
Mamas, we are all really great at a lot of things! Our mistake is trying to be great at all the things all the time.
For everything there is a season and this may not be your season to be a workout star or professional chef. What you can do, every day, is get up and be the absolute best at what is in front of you. You are likely not the hot mess you feel like you are.
Those mamas who asked what I am bad at? They both looked like they had just stepped out of a magazine that day. One is an absolutely phenomenal baker, maintains a personal blog, and I would give anything to keep up with her reading list. The other is a doula and raises four kids while finishing her degree.
I think it’s safe to say we’re all pretty fabulous.
