Happy Star Wars Day! May the 4th be with you.
I, like any self-respecting human, have watched the Star Wars trilogy a time or two (or three… or eight). Yes, I said “trilogy.” Obviously, episodes I-III don’t count, and Episode VII is great, but it is its own thing. Also, I don’t know the word for when there are four works in a series.
When I realized my next post was going to be scheduled for May 4th, I immediately knew I had to write about Star Wars. My hypothesis: Your kid’s behavior at any time can be explained using Star Wars characters. Let’s face it, sometimes your kid is sweet innocent Luke, and sometimes he is a Sith Lord bent on destroying everything you love and hold dear.
So without further ado, I present:
Ewoks
Is your little one so cute that you just want to pick them up and squeeze them? Do they fool everyone into thinking they are the sweetest little things, but secretly, you know they could eat you up and spit you out? Well, you have yourself an Ewok. Enjoy the cuteness, but maybe watch your back.
Chewbacca
Every parent has had a child in the Chewbacca stage at one point or another. No one else can understand a word that comes out of his or her mouth, but you spend 24 hours a day with your little monster and have learned to speak fluent toddler AKA Wookie.
Your kid: “AAAAAHHHNNNNNWAAAAHHHHHNNNNAAAA”
You: “Yes you may have a cookie. Thank you so much for asking politely.”
Everyone else: “Wait… what?”
Lando Calrissian
Just like Lando, you’re never quite sure whose side your kid is actually on. One minute they are ratting out their siblings in a last ditch attempt to not get into trouble themselves, and the next minute they are secretly plotting with their friends to get away with something behind your back. Your kid is smooth and he knows it.
C-3PO
Ever had that moment where your kid just keeps talking and talking and following you around and talking some more? You just want to have a moment of peace to read Big Little Lies, but they insist on explaining to you every single detail of their most recent Minecraft build. If this sounds familiar, you might have a C-3PO on your hands.
Darth Vader
If you have a child in the midst of the terrible twos, you are basically parenting Darth Vader. Your once sweet and lovable little boy now stomps around the house making demands and using psychological torture to bend you to his will. Vader used the force. Toddlers use temper tantrums. Both are incredibly effective at getting you to your breaking point.
Han Solo
Han kids are smooth as hell and so charming that sometimes you don’t realize they somehow just talked you into reading a seventh bedtime story (when you swore you would only read three). But just like Hans, little ones can be so much fun to be around that you don’t even mind being conned.
Princess Leia
Every little one has some Princess Leia qualities. Luke may have destroyed the Death Star, but Leia is the real hero of the story. She holds the group together and stays cool, calm, and collected.
Yoda
Yoda is wise, helpful, and even-tempered. So yeah. No one’s kid is Yoda. Sorry.
