It has been a very long time since I’ve measured the moments and milestones and events in my children’s lives by days or weeks or months, but here in this new year, I’ve found myself doing exactly that.
It’s just two days until my older son begins his final semester of college. We’re three days into my younger son’s last semester of high school, two if you discount that Friday was a snow day. And we are just 10 days out from one of the most traumatic and terrifying things either I or my husband have ever experienced as parents.
On New Year’s Day as we, along with our younger son, were driving from Chattanooga to Florida to attend the Gator Bowl in Jacksonville, we both received automated texts from our older son B’s iPhone alerting us that he had been in a crash along with the coordinates of his location. Seconds later, as we were still processing the text message, my husband’s phone rang. A number we didn’t recognize with a Louisiana area code popped up on the car’s console. When my husband answered, a woman’s voice said, “Hi, my name is Rachel and I’m with your son. He has been in a very serious accident…and he’s bleeding…a lot.”
The next few moments were a blur. I think my soul left my body.
I am certain every ounce of blood drained from my face and head as I struggled to listen and not faint. Rachel asked us if we could FaceTime so my husband found the next exit and pulled into a parking lot where she put us on FaceTime and we saw our son’s bloody and battered face. Because he has had concussions in the past, we were instantly worried about a head injury. Rachel and another woman named Cheryl who had also stopped to help were tending to him until emergency services arrived. They had helped him after he crawled from his car in the I-59 median and took him to Cheryl’s car and got him water and a towel to wipe away some of the blood. Even though his iPhone had automatically called 911, they had also called 911 and they kept him talking and stayed on the phone with us until paramedics arrived. Rachel told us she was worried about a head injury because B was having trouble standing up or walking. She also went to B’s wrecked car and found his phone and brought it to him so he could call me from his phone while my husband used his phone to call B’s girlfriend whom he had been on the way to visit in New Orleans.
Although it felt like hours were passing as it played out, within 20 minutes of the initial phone call, B was in an ambulance on his way to a hospital in Picayune, Mississippi, and his girlfriend and her parents were in their car and on the way to the hospital. And we, just on the other side of Atlanta, turned our car around and began the six-and-a-half hour drive to Picayune, having no idea how serious our son’s injuries might be and fearing the worst.
In the meantime, we felt so much love rallying around us.
Texts and calls to his grandmother, aunts and uncles, cousins, and our best friends to let them know what happened and ask for their prayers and positive energy happened quickly as we began the drive to Mississippi and the wait for updates on his condition. Everyone we reached out to responded not only with their concern, but with a desire to go into action and help however they could. My best friend who is a Louisiana native reached out to her cousin in Picayune. My husband’s brother who was a couple of hours closer than us offered to make the drive. My Atlanta besties all asked how they could help. My mother-in-law stayed in touch and helped us communicate with other family members. And friends continued to reach out to ask how we were all doing in the days that followed.
But our son’s girlfriend and her parents were the real MVPs on our team. Without hesitation, they were in the truck driving an hour from their home to the hospital and staying there with him until we were within 30 minutes and B had been moved from the ER to a hospital room. And when we thanked them, they shook it off, saying, “Of course we’d be there; this is what you do.”
They’re right, of course. It is what you do. I still almost burst into tears the next day when I found out they had friends who were also standing in the gap, offering to help navigate any medical issues and deal with car stuff for a kid and family they didn’t even know. Heck, I’m crying again as I write that.
And B is fine and on the mend. Miraculously, he walked away with just a few cuts, a collapsed lung, a very achy body, and a grateful heart.
So, why am I writing about this for a local website for moms? Well, first of all, I need to express the deep and profound gratitude I feel. Gratitude at all our dumb luck. B had the flu after Christmas and was forced to delay his trip until New Year’s Day which possibly meant fewer cars on the road and a less serious accident than what might have been if he had traveled earlier.
Gratitude that my son’s injuries weren’t worse. Gratitude for the two lovely humans who stopped to help him. Gratitude for the Apple technology that alerted us and called emergency services. Gratitude for the kind nurses and doctors at Highland Community Hospital in Picayune, Mississippi. And of course, a deep, deep gratitude for all the love and concern and help offered by all of our friends and family and B’s girlfriend and her family and their friends.
And, I’m writing to share some lessons learned and offer what I hope will be helpful advice for other parents and their teen and young adult drivers.
- Every Apple iPhone that is series 14 and newer is equipped with crash detection that is automatically enabled. Make sure your kid has not disabled this feature.
- Make sure you or another adult you can trust is set up as your kid’s emergency contact in the Apple Health app in the iPhone. Instructions can be found at support.apple.com.
- If your child has any medical issues such as diabetes, autism, etc., be sure to add those via the Health app as well so an alert will appear on their phone for first responders to see.
If you’re not part of the Apple ecosystem, apps like Life360 offer similar features including crash detection and calling emergency contacts.
Next, make sure your kids regularly have their cars serviced and get their tires checked and replaced as needed. B’s accident was the result of a front tire blowing out. While I casually mentioned he should go get his tires checked before this trip, I didn’t push it — something I fully regret in hindsight.
And finally, I’m just going to say a word about mother’s intuition.
When B asked me if we would be upset if he spent New Year’s Eve with his girlfriend and her family, I immediately felt a twinge of worry about the long drive from Chattanooga to NOLA. Then, I had a little talk with myself about how my bestie made the drive between her home and Atlanta multiple times per year when we were even younger. I couldn’t shake my worry, but chalked it up to the fact it would be the first holiday he hadn’t spent with us and decided I was being ridiculous. Of course, I’ll never know if it was intuition, a premonition, or just generalized mom anxiety, but I do know that one of the specific worries my mind kept coming back to was his having a car accident. I did ask him to delay his trip one extra day after he felt well enough to go and maybe that one little change helped?
This is so scary Dawn! I’m so glad to hear he’s ok, and so thankful for Rachel who stopped to help him and his girlfriend’s family as well.