The holiday season is filled with joy, celebration, and plenty of family time. But for families with young children, it can also bring a unique set of challenges, especially when it comes to splitting time between both sides of the family. Whether it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any other holiday, finding a balance between family gatherings, traditions, and making sure your little ones feel grounded can be a tricky task. The desire to create a special experience for your children, like waking up in your own home on Christmas morning, can often conflict with the expectations of extended family. So, how do you navigate this delicate balancing act?
Here are some tips for managing holiday splits and making the most of your time together, no matter where you spend the day:
1. Start With a Plan Early
The earlier you start the conversation with your families, the smoother your holidays will be. Whether it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas, make sure to discuss your priorities with both sides of the family well in advance. If you want to wake up at home with your children on Christmas morning, for example, share that with everyone early on. The same goes for Thanksgiving; if you’d like to spend the day in one place but need to travel for dinner, letting family members know your plans can help avoid misunderstandings later.
2. Create Flexible Traditions
While the holidays are often filled with long-held traditions, it’s important to recognize that flexibility is key when you have small children. Rather than trying to squeeze every tradition into one day, create new ones that allow you to celebrate with everyone. For Thanksgiving, maybe you can do a gathering with one side of the family, and then spend Christmas, or even Christmas Eve, with the other. This is what my family does, which helps ensure our boys get to spend each holiday with each side every other year. The goal is to be present where it matters most without feeling overwhelmed.
3. Consider Staying Home
For many families, being at home on Christmas morning is non-negotiable and the same can be true for Thanksgiving. The thought of your children waking up in their own beds, enjoying their own traditions, is something most parents treasure. If that’s a priority, plan your travel accordingly. For Thanksgiving, perhaps you can have a cozy meal at home, with your own little turkey dinner, before heading to a family gathering in the evening. Similarly, for Christmas, enjoying a quiet morning at home before traveling to see family later can help maintain that special feeling. Or, you can always invite extended family to come join you all at your home so the travel plans don’t always fall on you.
4. Quality Over Quantity
It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure of attending every holiday event and making sure you divide your time perfectly between families. But remember, it’s the quality of the time spent together that truly matters. Your child won’t remember the exact schedule, but they will remember the laughter, the love, and the feeling of being surrounded by people who care. Whether it’s a low-key Thanksgiving dinner with one set of grandparents or a Christmas afternoon overflowing with family from both sides, cherish the moments and create memories that will last.
In the end, the holidays are about creating meaningful moments with those you love. Even if you can’t be with your side of the family on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day, there’s still plenty of time to celebrate together. After all, the best gift you can give your family is your presence, patience, and an open heart.
