As a mom, you are always needed. Motherhood is exhausting! Someone needs something from you all the time. “Mom, where’s my favorite pajamas?” “Where’s my dino?!” “Mom! I can’t find my shoes!” “Mom, the dog threw up!” “Hey babe, where’s my wallet?”
The chaos of running a home can overstimulate anyone, but when you feel like you have to be everywhere at one time, it can push you over the edge. Kids fighting, kids wanting your attention, kids needing help or just wanting a cuddle — it can be overwhelming to say the least, and over the events of the day, I can end up overstimulated.
When things start to become overwhelming, do I take a few minutes to myself to collect my thoughts and breathe?
No, I push myself to be everything I am expected to be. And then, I get to the point of being so overstimulated, that I become paralyzed with decision-making and overwhelmed with how much I am needed that I come off as the angry and stressed momma that I don’t want to be.
Kids don’t understand that it can be overwhelming to be needed in fifty different ways all at the same time. All they know is they want/need you right then. It is our responsibility to teach them to be patient, because although it may feel like something has to be done right this second, sometimes things have to wait if they need help with something because mom can only do so many things at once. I have to also remind myself that just because someone wants my attention, help, opinion, or listening ear at that very moment, doesn’t mean that I have the bandwidth to handle it all at the same time.
I am a mom of two children on the autism spectrum and we are teaching them ways of coping with overstimulation.
This journey has been eye-opening for me not only as a parent of two neurodivergent kiddos, but as a mom who gets overstimulated. No, I don’t have a meltdown like the kids do, but I do get short tempered and my snap when I feel like I am being pulled in too many directions.
So, what have I learned?
1. Take a break, take a breath, and re-evaluate. This gives you a chance to see what needs your attention and then assess the order in which you can tackle your tasks.
2. Use your words! I use this phrase with my kids so many times a day, but I need to remind myself of this as well. Put into words how you are feeling, what you need (whether it’s a break, a moment to collect yourself, or help) and communicate these things to others.
3. Distract yourself. Whether you stress because you have too much that needs your attention, an appointment or meeting coming up that is overwhelming, or you need to get your mind off of a stressor using a small fidget, can help turn this nervous energy into a much needed distraction. Some of my favorite fidgets are this, this, and this.
4. Make lists. When feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things you need to get done, make a list in order of what needs your attention first to last. This lets you mark things off and gives you the satisfaction of seeing that you have accomplished things by marking them off.
Following these suggestions won’t keep you from becoming overstimulated, but it does give you productive ways of dealing with life’s stressors.
