I think most of us can agree — especially after the COVID Chronicles of 2020 — that finding and spending time with our mom tribe has a huge impact on our mental health. I struggled to find a group of women that I could confide in, who would support and encourage me, and with whom I could do life. When I finally joined a small group at my church, I quickly gained a close knit group of women that fit the bill. From the beginning, we agreed that we wanted to be involved with each other’s lives as much as possible, talking daily, praying for each other, spending time with each other’s kids, and having quality girl time together.
Right off the bat, I could feel myself making excuses for why it wouldn’t work. We’re too busy, kids consume our attention, and money is tight. But immediately, I began to realize that the relationships I craved years earlier were finally part of my life and would take time and effort to maintain.
This past weekend, we had our first girls’ night in, and it was everything my heart needed and more. Sometimes I wonder how many women are in the same boat I was years ago? If you are, you aren’t alone. Actually, according to Cross River Therapy, 45% of women report feeling persistently lonely. That’s a staggering amount.
Now, more than ever, community is vital to our family’s success. So what can we do about it?
Find a small group
This doesn’t necessarily have to be a small group through a church, though that is a great place to start! Many churches offer small group directories on their websites with targeted audiences/interests/group makeup. In addition to churches, there are several moms groups on Facebook that offer interest focuses and offer frequent meetups. MOPS groups are also a great way to find moms in similar walks of life!
Spend time doing mundane tasks
Forget cleaning your house before your mom friends come over. We’re all riding the same struggle bus and we get it. Two weeks ago, my friend came to visit for the first time. I was so anxious about cleaning before she came over; my kids had been sick, I had recently been cleared after having a broken foot, and we’d had a hectic few weeks. Clearly, it showed on my face. She gently offered to come upstairs and help me clean and organize while we chatted. This was incredibly helpful and it blessed my heart so much that this friend would take the time to encourage me in that way. Sometimes, the smallest gestures have the greatest impacts on friendships.
Skip the mom guilt and ditch the kids
Burnout is real and it’s true that we can’t pour from an empty cup. It’s imperative that we receive support and encouragement in order to encourage and support others. When we are constantly giving our time and attention to our littles and running on empty, it can cause us to become exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. Giving up time with our children seems selfish to us initially, but it can actually benefit our family as a whole. And if finding a babysitter isn’t an option, find an activity to do with your girlfriends and bring all the kids! They can keep each other busy while you can focus on meaningful conversations.
DIY girls’ night
Having a DIY girls’ night or themed night is a fun and affordable way to spend time with friends. Last weekend, our Girl Gang had a sleepover at a local cabin from Airbnb (shout-out to The Cabin at Rock Creek Farms for hosting us!). We had a BYOB (bring your own board) party where each girl was responsible for bringing a themed charcuterie board. It was delicious and fairly inexpensive. We played board games, painted nails, and talked until midnight.
Whether it’s shopping for groceries together, cleaning each other’s houses, sending a daily Marco Polo or getting together once a quarter for a sleepover, find your mom tribe and put in the time and effort to build a community. I promise you won’t regret it!
