As we travel into the teen years, I find myself with mom guilt more often than not. Guilt over punishments and how long to ground my kids is always hard for me; guilt over my short fuse as my kids’ attitudes are approaching explosive levels and my nerves are wearing thin; guilt about not being fun enough, tough enough, or just enough in general. When you see the picture perfect families on social media, it can make you think their life is perfect, but not only are you just seeing a snapshot into their lives, but it’s also important to remember that comparison is the thief of joy. Oh, is that saying so true!For instance, I saw a post about someone shopping with their daughter for clothes and what an amazing time they had. It left me feeling bad because I compared a day of shopping with my daughters together as “a twisted form of hell.” In my defense, I took both daughters who are polar opposites shopping at the same time. One loves being in stores and around people and the other gets completely overwhelmed. One takes her time and has to try on every option to be sure she gets the right things, while the other picks what she wants and is ready to go. So pleasing both of them at the same time is impossible and I am left at the end of the trip overstimulated and ready for a nap. I don’t think I would have survived the trip if it weren’t for my mom coming along to help.
Does this mean I will never enjoy shopping with them? No! I love shopping with them individually. The chaos happens when their likes and dislikes merge and no one is happy with anything, anywhere or anyone. Was it a bad idea to take both out? Maybe…I never want either of them to feel left out, so when they both say they want to go, how can I say no to one of them? So did this shopping trip end with a picture-perfect moment to post about? No, not unless I lied through my teeth, but did we still laugh and goof off in between the overstimulation and stress? Absolutely!
My boys on the other hand, are much easier when it comes to clothes shopping. One doesn’t care as long as the item has axolotls or dinosaurs on it and the other prefers shopping online. Moral of the story: I may not have the perfect moments to post on social media, but from what I have learned, I would rather have these real imperfect moments with funny memories and stories galore to tell from them rather than the perfect post for social media. Comparison really is the thief of joy! I love having my goofy, frustrating, and chaotic life even if some days it leaves me a little fried, and a lot exhausted. Forget trying to keep up with the Jones.
