And here we are…
Another holiday season is upon us. And if you’re like me, you already have a to-do list a mile long. Maybe longer. As mothers, we often pour so much energy into creating joy and manifesting magic for our loved ones that our own well-being takes a back seat.
So, as we head into Thanksgiving week, I invite you to pour yourself a cup of tea or some hot cocoa or settle in for the evening with a glass of wine, and explore some meaningful ways we can find our own moments of magic and calm while keeping stress at bay.
Embrace Micro-Moments of Magic
One of my favorite coping mechanisms is giving into moments of beauty and wonder as I encounter them and letting myself feel grateful for the little joys (and the big blessings) in my life.
Here are a few ways I’ve found to slow down and appreciate a little holiday magic:
- Holiday Light Walks: Take a quiet evening stroll to enjoy holiday lights by yourself or with soothing music. The key here is that you do this alone. Neighborhood not safe to walk in the evenings? Hop in your car and go for a solo drive through your neighborhood or find the fanciest neighborhood nearby and check out their lights.
- Morning Gratitude Ritual: Start your day with three things you’re grateful for as this sets a calming tone. Before you even get out of bed, take a deep breath and think about three things you’re thankful for and allow yourself to really feel gratitude in your heart.
- Mindful Sipping: Brew a cup of tea, hot cocoa, or coffee, and savor it with no interruptions, even if just for five minutes. For a little extra magical touch, as you add in your cream or sweetener, stir it in a clockwise motion three times and repeat this with each stir: I am worthy of love; I deserve joy; I give myself the love I give to others. Then, stirring three times in the opposite direction, breathe deeply and on each exhale release anything negative and with each inhale, bring in positive expectations.
Set Boundaries on Your “Yes”
- Simplify Traditions: Focus on the traditions you and your family genuinely love rather than overloading your schedule. If you know that sitting in traffic to get to Rock City for a few lights will drain your joy — and leave the kids cranky by the time you’re done — give yourself permission to skip it. Your peace of mind is far more valuable than holding onto a tradition just because it’s something you’ve always done. Also, you might consider switching out time-consuming or effortful experiences for calmer, less stressful experiences. Kids will love a cozy afternoon or evening at home watching holiday movies with cookies and cocoa as much as or more than going out for some elaborate event. Maybe choose one special holiday experience — a performance of The Nutcracker or maybe a ride on a Christmas train — and really focus on being present and enjoying it, then let go of the need to pack everything in.
- Delegate Joy: Get your family involved in baking, decorating, or shopping — let them share in the magic-making! This might require a few deep breaths and a willingness to let go of the need for everything to be picture-perfect. Remember, the goal isn’t perfection; instead, it’s creating space for you to take care of yourself, soak in the joy of the season, and truly enjoy the holidays alongside your loved ones.
- Time Blocks: Set clear times for tasks and leave space for yourself in your schedule, guilt-free. Create a schedule that sets clear, intentional times for your tasks and holiday responsibilities and then, build in dedicated time to take care of yourself. For example, set a specific hour for gift wrapping, meal prep, or errands, and balance it with a block of time just for you. Whether you set aside time for a quiet coffee break, a walk around the neighborhood, or simply to sit down to breathe and recharge, this intentional planning can help prevent feeling overwhelmed.
Schedule Self-Care as a Non-Negotiable
- Festive Self-Care Treats: Block the time on your calendar and then treat yourself to a holiday-themed manicure, cozy up with a festive book and a special cup of tea, or put the kids to bed early and indulge in a holiday movie night just for you.
- Yoga, Meditation, or Gentle Stretching: Just 10–15 minutes of yoga, gentle stretching, or a guided meditation can work wonders to help you release tension and ground yourself during the holiday hustle. By relaxing tight muscles, helping calm your mind, and center your thoughts, these simple practices can leave you feeling more balanced and refreshed and ready to take on your tasks with more clarity, respond to stress more calmly. By prioritizing even a small moment of self-care, you’re better equipped to handle the demands of the season with grace, making it easier to enjoy the holidays rather than just getting through them.
- Mini Digital Detox: Unplug from screens for an hour to enjoy something tactile like journaling or crafting. Disconnecting from the constant noise of notifications and scrolling allows your mind to reset, helping you feel more present and less overwhelmed. Engaging in a hands-on activity can be surprisingly soothing, whether it’s knitting, coloring, or even organizing a small space in your home. Taking an intentional break from technology can also create a sense of accomplishment and peace, grounding you in the moment and reminding you of the joys outside the digital world. It’s a small but powerful way to reconnect with yourself and recharge during the holiday rush.
Connect in a Way That Feels Energizing
- Holiday Coffee with Friends: Meet a friend or two for a holiday coffee or dessert date — it’s a refreshing pause from family chaos. Skip the gift exchange and focus on the gifts of your friendship. Share one thing with each friend that you really love or appreciate them, and allow yourself to receive your flowers from them in return.
- Support Network Check-In: Even when we make our best efforts to find balance, sometimes we just can’t. And, if you’re missing a loved one or struggling for any reason, the effort required to make the holidays special for everyone else can feel like a heavy burden. If it all feels too intense and you’re having a hard time, reach out to close friends or a trusted priest, therapist, or confidant to share how you’re feeling and find support.
Remember It’s Okay to Say “No”
Sometimes, letting go of perfection is the most magical and meaningful gift you can give yourself. You can take care of yourself and still experience all the magic and meaning of the holiday season.
And here’s the beautiful thing about all of this: when you take care of yourself, the holidays feel more special, not because everything went perfectly, but because you feel present, calm, and open to truly experiencing the joy of the season. The twinkling lights seem a little brighter, the laughter of your loved ones sounds a little sweeter, and the smallest moments — a warm hug, the smell of cookies baking, or a quiet moment sitting in the glow of your holiday lights — take on a deeper meaning.
So, give yourself permission to let go of the unrealistic expectations, embrace imperfection and doing less, and treasure the little joys. By finding time to nurture your own well-being, you create a ripple effect that not only makes your holidays more manageable, but also fills them with a sense of wonder and magic that everyone around you can feel.
