I’m not even sure what we were talking about, but during a conversation with my 10-year-old daughter recently, I realized not one of the families we are close to has any type of traditional work roles. I’m probably the most stay-at-home of the moms she knows, although I work on the side writing, reselling on Poshmark, and baking cakes, among other things!
I outlined how the couples we know are making things work. In one, the mom works nights and the dad is a pastor, working Sunday through Thursday. In another, the mom works part-time from the office and part-time from home, mostly while her two sons are in school, and the dad holds down two jobs that span weeks and weekends. In another family, the mom works 12-hour nursing shifts a few days a week while the dad can work with some flexibility to get kids where they need to be. And in yet another family close to us, the parents both hold more traditional full-time jobs, although the mom gets off a month or two in summer since she works at a college.
It was kind of shocking to me to realize how far we’ve come from the traditional job roles many of us grew up seeing. For most of my childhood, my dad worked full-time and my mom stayed home. Then she worked part- and full-time jobs. They were traditional hours. Most of my friends had one or two working parents who worked full-time, year round.
The workforce has gone a little wild, and I love it.
Isn’t it wonderful to be able to present all these possibilities to our children? We are in a world of families all trying to make it work to the best of their abilities in whatever ways they can. We might have different priorities, structures, desires to do extracurricular things, number of vehicles, or a hundred other variants. There might be one, two, three, four parents in the picture; older siblings helping out; grandparents and great-grandparents picking up the parenting role; beloved sitters and nannies and friends jumping in. Everyone around us is just trying to make a family, make a home.
I’m so glad — for my daughters especially — that I don’t have to show them a world that is limited to staying at home or working full-time. Just through the parents of their friends, they can see a world of possibilities. It inspires me to be in the presence of these families, when our off times intersect and we can take a deep breath and hug and remember we’re all in it together.
