Some of my first memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas included me looking anxiously at the calendar six weeks before the big days, when my mom and dad’s work schedules arrived, to see who would be working and who would be off. I knew that one would not be there, usually my mother, because they both worked in the medical field and that meant they worked every other holiday, no matter what.
I really hated that they had to work and struggled as a child not to feel too jealous of other families who got to have the holidays at normal times of the day or even on the actual day. (I realize these are the problems of a privileged first-world child and do not dispute it, but, even then, it wasn’t about the turkey and dressing nor about the presents to me, but rather the presence of the holidays.)
My ideal holiday was, and will always be, simply all my family together.
Whether it is turkey day or Christmas morning, I love best the times we are together as a family, loitering in our robes until we attend whatever clan festivities are planned for the day. My favorite moment is always in the midst of that larger family group when everyone has arrived and I can see all the aunts, uncles and cousins who make every bit of this life blessed.
My dear daughter, who is just starting to realize the joys of the holiday season, will be facing a similar dilemma in the coming years. Her daddy travels for work and, even if he is in town, will likely be working this Christmas Day — work we are thankful he has. Our celebration will be wonderful I am sure, but it is the start of the same cycle I so dreaded growing up.
So, how can we make the holidays festive and leave her feeling like she hasn’t missed that presence of family? Here are some of the tricks my parents utilized and some I hope to try.
Thanksgiving
Perfectly Tasty Leftovers:
When one or several family members work on Thanksgiving, the key is to make sure there are enough delicious leftovers to put them in a food coma as soon as they get home. A bit of turkey and dressing, a recording of the Macy’s Day parade, and they will feel like they were there with you the entire time.
Giving to Others:
I want my daughter to understand that not everyone is as blessed as we have been in our lives. There are needs around us and it is our responsibility to help where and when we can. I am hoping to find some sort of charity-oriented activity we can adopt on the big day or around it, whether it is working with the food pantry or delivering hot meals to those without family to celebrate with. Advice on any good programs like these would be appreciated!
Christmas
Pick a New Present Day:
When I was really young, my parents simply chose a new Christmas Day. We didn’t have a grasp of the Calendar yet and, as school is usually out around Christmas, it wasn’t like we could compare notes with other kids. So, we would celebrate a few days before or after December 25, not knowing the difference.
Pick a New Christmas Present Tradition:
A few presents here, a few there: My mother worked night shift a lot, so on some Christmases we would wake up before she left for work and open our stockings and one gift. Then we’d go back to bed and open the rest after she got off work.
*The general rule of thumb, when we were old enough to be up early on our own and my parents wanted to sleep, was that we could open our stockings without supervision but had to wait until 8am to wake them up to open presents. Another parenting hack I plan to shamelessly utilize.
The night before: When we were in high school, we started opening all our presents on Christmas night, which meant that Christmas morning was a little lonely, but we usually had several new toys or gadgets to keep us engaged while everyone was working.
Hopes for the future
Reading Tree: One tactic I’m considering is to have a smaller Christmas tree with a few new books wrapped underneath. Then, even if we’ve already opened our presents the night or days before, we can open new books and read them together on Christmas morning.
It All Comes Back to the Christmas Presence
In the end, I now realize the holidays are about so much more than what we have or want. No matter what schedules we have moving forward, I want my daughter to understand that it isn’t about the presents, but the presence that matters. During the holidays and every other day of the year, we should be giving, loving, cherishing, worshiping, and thanking God for all our Blessings.
