What a Mom REALLY Wants for Valentine’s Day…

…and every other gift giving occasion, just for the record. Candy and flowers are lovely. You can never go wrong with a massage.

But what do I *really* want? I’m so glad you asked.

A nice hotel room with a bottle of good wine, chocolate covered anything, trash TV (The Bachelor? Real House Wives? Lifetime movies?)…ALONE.

We love you all, we REALLY do, but for heaven’s sake, can a sister get a little time to watch something that doesn’t come on a channel with “junior” in the title and without the judgment of her husband? My love language is 5-star hotels with a legit on-demand service, just saying.

To not have to share AN-Y-THING for at least 24 hours.

I don’t want to share my bed, my cereal, my phone, my shower, my *ahem* potty time. Wouldn’t it be nice to have something that was truly yours, even for just a little while? I didn’t even know that cereal was a sharable thing until C came along. Turns out what’s mine is his and what his is his. Sharing sucks, no wonder kids are so bad at it.

Diaper vacation.

If I didn’t have to wipe another human’s poop for even a few hours, it would be the equivalent to winning the lottery.

To truly turn my brain OFF for just a few hours.

Some friends and I recently discussed this and it’s no wonder we’re always exhausted. At any given moment I’m thinking about at least five different and completely unrelated topics–I need to wash bottles, why is my baby giving me the stink eye, did my husband remember to reschedule his doctor’s appointment, I wonder why Corrine is still hanging on with Nick because she isn’t even good television anymore, C’s lunch has zero fresh produce in it tomorrow and I think I should feel badly about that but I don’t…and on and on and on. I mean I know this isn’t actually a possibility, but if someone could figure out how to make this happen she’d be an instant kabillionaire.

A hand made card with red and pink hearts and paper doilies. Maybe some glitter, but not too much glitter. Seriously, who doesn’t love that?