My youngest baby turns three this weekend, so in honor of his birthday, I thought I’d share some pregnancy advice I learned along the way. All three of my pregnancies were high risk, and two of them could have quickly ended with my husband raising our babies alone. Thankfully, I was in the hands of some awesome doctors, so now I’m on the other side sharing my stories to pregnant moms with similar complications.
When I was a young 24-year-old woman, pregnant for the first time, I pictured a beautiful, healthy, 40-week pregnancy, culminating in a nice, easy vaginal birth. I was looking at my pregnancy with rose-colored glasses, and I was in for a rude awakening. Little did I know what could go wrong while pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but with a much more realistic view.
Things rarely go according to plan, but that’s okay.
My first pregnancy ended at 34 weeks with an emergency c-section due to preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. My organs were shutting down and my son came six weeks early. It came on very quickly and was terrifying. We both spent a good deal of time in respective ICUs after that. My second son was born via c-section at 38 weeks due to a similar situation, but on a much milder scale. My third and final son was delivered via c-section four weeks early in the OR due to a completely different, but extremely serious issue. Due to two previous c-sections, I developed placenta percreta (where the placenta grows through the uterine wall and extends to outer organs — mine was attached to my bladder), so I was put to sleep for his delivery and had an emergency hysterectomy immediately following his birth. We both spent a good deal of time in the hospital from all the excitement surrounding his arrival.
I don’t tell you this to scare you away from having children. I tell you this so you know to listen to your body while pregnant.
It’s so important to pay attention to any sudden changes in how you feel. Nobody knows your body like you do, not even your doctor. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. If something is hurting and you can’t get comfortable, call the doctor. That was my first sign things were quickly going downhill with my first pregnancy. If you feel unsettled about something, don’t brush it off. You are your best advocate for yourself and unborn child. Have enough faith and confidence in yourself, and don’t take “no” for an answer. Doctors want the best for you and your baby, so don’t be afraid to tell them if something doesn’t feel right, even if you feel like you’re being silly or paranoid.
Another important thing to do while pregnant is to listen to your doctor. I felt wonderful during my third pregnancy. I wouldn’t have had any idea something was seriously wrong had it not been for a very thorough doctor. Even though I felt great and had no outward signs of issues, I heeded her advice and listened to everything she said. There’s a reason pregnancies are handled by medical professionals. I know it’s easy to brush off what they say if it’s something you don’t want to hear. Friends and family can give you all kinds of sound advice on your pregnancy, and you can find tons of resources online, but doctors are the experts, so their word should be the final word. If you’re put on bedrest, it’s not to make life harder on you. If you’re told not to pick up your other children, it’s because there’s a medical reason for it. If you’re put in the hospital six weeks before you’re scheduled to give birth, they’ve done that to keep you and your baby safe. If you feel that your doctor doesn’t have you and your baby’s best interest at heart, find another one. Chattanooga is full of some wonderful OBGYNs, so don’t be afraid to find the one that best suits you.
Speaking of doctors, it’s also imperative to have a very honest and open relationship with them. The more you communicate, the better you will understand what’s happening. If I thought of random questions or concerns between appointments, I typed them up in my phone. I kept a running list and would discuss everything with my doctor at each visit. He or she won’t think you’re stupid. They went to school for many years to be equipped with this knowledge. We didn’t…they don’t expect you comprehend everything. Knowing all of your options when it comes to you and your baby’s health is a powerful tool to have.
I read every book there was during my three pregnancies, but the most important thing I learned was to expect the unexpected. You can follow every rule, listen to all the old wives’ tales, and prepare until you’re blue in the face, but sometimes life just throws a curve ball at you. Don’t let it ruin your pregnancy experience. Embrace the chaos, and be thankful for the gift you’ve been given. Just remember to trust your gut, listen to your doctor, enjoy it while it lasts, and hang on for the ride of your life…no matter what happens, it will all be worth it once that sweet baby is in your arms.
