As we enter this holiday season, I’ve decided to rid myself of toxicity. I’m taking time to cleanse, heal, and refresh. But before I can head into this new season, I have some confessions to make about things I’ve been doing since I became a mom. Some…secrets. While preparing to make these confessions, I had conversations with fellow mamas — friends and family — to find out their “mom secrets.” It was a confessional and I’m exposing us all.
Here are my favorite mom confessions:
“I say things like, “We’ll see,” “Maybe,” or “I’ll think about it” to activities that I have absolutely no intention of participating in.”
We all know kids seem to make their own plans and arrangements without money and transportation. I know my kids do. But saying a flat out “no” brings me some kind of weird mom guilt. I feel like I’m depriving them of an event that will shape them as productive human beings. But sometimes events can be too much. With an already busy work schedule, school, sports and extracurriculars, I can’t always fit everything in. So, I say things like, “We’ll see” just to keep the nagging down to a minimum and pray that as time passes, the kids will forget or said destination will be closed.
“Oh no, it’s too spicy.”
Secret’s out. Mommas don’t always want to share their food. I can’t count how many times I’ve had a delicious meal on my plate, have taken in all the flavors, am about to devour every bite, only to be interrupted by, “Can I have a piece?” The audacity of the toddler to just grab what he wants from my plate. The irony is that kids have their own food. Food that they said they wanted, but somehow my plate becomes more enticing. So, no it’s not too spicy. I just don’t want to share.
“I throw away artwork and toys when the kids aren’t around.”
We all have a pile of it: Drawings, finger paint, cute handprint turkeys. But how much art can we take? How many happy meal toys can we collect before someone trips and falls on one? I’m just throwing it all away for our safety, right? One mama even confessed that when the kids realize some of their toys are missing, they end up blaming each other and she doesn’t say a word. I felt this.
“I omit information…a lot of information.”
Birthday party coming up for a friend? I may not tell my kids until we actually pull up to the venue though I’ve known about it for two weeks. Why, you may ask? I don’t want to talk about the birthday party every single day until the day of the event. What time is the party? What should I wear? Who’s going to be there? Can we go to the store to get a gift? What day is the party again?
I can’t forget the mamas who use the party as leverage. I see you. I feel you. Although I’ve already ordered a gift and RSVPd, weeks leading up to the event are met with, “If you don’t clean your room, you’re not going to the party.” And the biggest secret of them all: We’re probably going to let you go to the party despite not having cleaned your room. Just like Santa is still coming even though my toddler hasn’t listened to a word I’ve said all year (insert face palm).
“I sometimes just sit in my car.”
This was by far the biggest mom confession, shared by almost every mom I spoke to. The reasons ranged from taking an uninterrupted phone call, jamming out to non-kid-friendly music, to just having a moment of silence before walking into the house. The car has become a small space of solace, a place to gather thoughts, oftentimes leaving husband and kids wondering where we are or why it took so long for us to come home from the store.
Honorable Mention Confessions
“I tell my son I can see his muscles moving when he eats any fruits and veggies.”
“I don’t read all the pages to her favorite book. In fact, I add my own words to help end the story.”
Ultimately, we are all trying to be the best moms we can be, and sometimes it’s good to know you’re not alone. Special thanks to my momma tribe for sharing these “confessions” with me: Alycia, Bianca, Tamara, Caasie, Stacie, Chariah, and Brandeis.
