I know, I know. Put down your pitchforks.
Screen time for young children is the modern-day equivalent of giving your kid a sip of beer, but hear me out.
We’ve all seen the studies: too much screen time is bad.
How much is too much? No idea.
Is certain screen time better than others? Maybe.
Do I cringe when I see a toddler watching mom’s iPhone in the grocery store? Just for a second, then I remind myself to be thankful for that little bit of peace that mama is getting while she picks out food for her family. I’ve been that mama.
I hate video games.
I can play the original Super Mario Brothers, Tetris, and one round of Mario Kart. That’s it. Anything beyond that sends my brain into overload and I am stressed and sweating and grumpy for the rest of the day.
My husband is a software developer.
It’s safe to say he does NOT hate video games. One would think that after spending all day staring at a computer screen at work, he might decide against staring at a computer screen to “unwind,” but I am the gal who teaches classes at the gym and then heads out to do my own workout to “unwind,” so…
Of the few disagreements my hubby and I have had over the years, most have been about screens. I have ADHD, so the bright lights, constant sounds, and overstimulation that come from tvs, computers, game consoles, and smart phones send me into orbit. It’s all JUST TOO MUCH. I also see what excessive screen time does to my kids. It’s not pretty. If I’m being honest, I also worry about all the information I’ve read telling me video games will lead to prison time and mental illness and that “good parents don’t park their kids in front of an Xbox.”
A few weeks ago I was on one of my frequent rants about Fortnite, something along the lines of “The next person to mention that stupid game will NEVER PLAY IT AGAIN!” I’m not dramatic or anything. My husband calmly said, “You don’t have to like Fortnite, but this is the world we live in. Our kids need to know how to use this technology. Besides, the boys aren’t just signing in and shooting people. Jonathan has worked hard to complete challenges, earn points, and buy certain skins and equipment. He’s using math, logic, planning…it’s not all bad.”
So, I took a breath. I listened. I actually watched my boys play Fortnite.
My 10-year-old son told me about the challenges he’s completed to earn v-bucks, the game’s currency. I watched him navigate a map, build structures for protection, plan what materials he needs most in order to maximize what he’s able to “carry” within the game, and have dance-offs with other players while waiting for the battle bus. I’ll admit I was impressed.
My six-year-old has jumped in because he wants to be like his big brothers. He mostly plays in Playground Mode where he isn’t interacting with other players, but is learning to build, read a map, and how to earn “money” within the game. Even my oldest, who is a lot like me when it comes to video games, jumps in and plays with his younger brothers. They all play well together, which sometimes feels like a small miracle.
So mamas, if your kids are talking about Fortnite and you are clueless about the game, or if you want to know whether your kids should play, here are some ways to allow this huge trend into your home without letting it take over. You may even be able to keep your sanity.
1. If you are totally Fortnite clueless, here’s what your kids are talking about: Fortnite is an online game where you are grouped with 99 other players to compete against.
Everyone is loaded onto the “Battle Bus” and dropped off on an island; it is then that the game becomes every man for himself. Your goal is to avoid the storm — yes, an actual storm with an eye that gets smaller throughout the game — and to survive against other players. The last man standing wins. Most games last about 20 minutes, sometimes less, depending on how quickly the players defeat each other.
2. Here’s an extra note for those of you worried about the violence.
Yes, players can acquire weapons in the game. In order to win, eventually you will have to kill another player. Some players, however, choose to build protection and use strategy to avoid being killed in the game and having to kill others. My 10-year-old prefers this method. There are also other versions of the game such as 50v50 and Playground Mode where violence is more easily avoided. It’s more of a survival situation than some of the older shoot-em-up games we may remember from college.
3. Yes, the game is free, but there are in-app purchases.
V-bucks are the game’s currency and can be used to buy skins (costumes or characters, for the uninitiated), dances, and equipment. None of this is necessary to play and a lot of that stuff can be earned by completing challenges. Again, v-bucks are not necessary to play the game, no matter what your kid tells you. We’ve given v-bucks as birthday gifts and rewards for good behavior, but we’ve also said “no” to buying v-bucks about 400,000 times. Per child. Prepare thyself for much saying of the no.
4. Set limits.
This one is probably pretty obvious as the interwebs are constantly reminding us about screen time limits, but I’ve found it particularly important as we have navigated this particular game. We have a set time that the boys are allowed to play Fortnite and even then, only if chores and schoolwork are complete. We’ve discovered that it helps to have something to pull them away from the game, such as a meal (which is why you will hear frequently at my house, “Dinner will be ready in 10 minutes! You better be dead by then!”), or an outing. Stick with the limits you set and you will avoid answering, “Can I play Fortnite?” seven billion times a day.
5. Watch your kids play and/or ask them about what they are doing in-game.
I admit that Fortnite is kind of a fun game to watch. I don’t want to play it as I am fairly certain I would have a literal stroke, but watching my 10-year-old expertly navigate this online world is absolutely fascinating. Watching the game in action allows you to see how your child behaves in-game, helps you learn the terminology so you can ask questions later, and gives your kiddo a thrill when mom is actually interested in his/her hobby. Once screen time is over, ask about what they did. Just like asking what your child did at a friend’s house, asking what your child did in this online world helps you know where problems might arise or what your child is finding fun and interesting.
6. Bring a little Fortnite into the real world.
As a group fitness instructor, you know I saw those Fortnite dances and thought, “Now that would be a great workout!” We have had a blast letting the kids teach mom and dad all those crazy dances. Most of the laughter was at my expense, but I’m ok with the fact that my dance moves are more “Elaine from Seinfeld” than “Beyonce.” Let Fortnite bring map reading into your family time. Grab some laser tag equipment and go play “Fortnite in Real Life,” as my six-year-old calls it. Sit down and read a Fortnite magazine together (yes, those exist).
7. This too shall pass.
Right now Fortnite is the biggest thing since the mannequin challenge (remember that?), but it won’t be around forever. Take the good, leave the bad, and have fun with your kids.
I’m not an expert; just a mama navigating this new online world the best I can. Remember that all online safety rules apply and please don’t send me mean messages if I got some details of the game wrong. My kids will read this and school me soon enough, I promise. Also keep in mind the words of my sometimes-wise husband: “You don’t have to like it, but this is the world we live in.” Learn all you can and help your kids enjoy online games safely. Then be sure to have them teach you the “floss.”
