I feel like I should start this post by saying that, in regard to “inappropriate language,” I will not invalidate other parents’ decisions. I simply plan to lay out my own stance in as humorous a clucking way as possible. All curse words I refer to shall be replaced with family consumable alternates.
Firstly, I occasionally have a potty mouth.
It is true. I may be a wee bit better since the birth of my darling child, but I am still quite guilty of belching out expletives when given a reason. I usually do have a reason, by the way. I’m not like the smokey-voiced lady from “Bridget Jones’ Diary,” who uses the “clucking” word way too “clucking” much. I mean…holy “cluck” does she like to say “cluck.” That lady is the far end of the verbally abrasive spectrum and I honestly wouldn’t want my little one exposed to quite that fervent amount of bad language.
I tend to be what I will now dub as an incidental curser, i.e., someone who uses curse words to express real stress, fear, or pain. Perhaps ironically, this is an inherited skill. My mother taught me over my years of observation how to season particularly unpleasant moments with just the right spicy phrase. I learned the appropriate curse for a stubbed toe: “holy shitaki,” an eloquent response for fender benders: “mother cluck it,” and the hopelessly confused phrase: “what the cluck?” for almost any other occasion.
As you might have guessed, now that my daughter, mother and I all live together, there are instances where she is exposed to creative vocabulary. When this happens, this is the conversation we have:
Lillie: repeats what she just heard as any toddler would.
Me: Lillie, let’s talk about that word. That’s an adult word. Remember how we talk about driving and that it is something you can only do when you are old enough to understand how dangerous it can be?
Lillie: I can drive when I grow up to be big.
Me: Yes! This is just like that. Some words, when used at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and for the wrong reason can be hurtful and even dangerous. When you grow up, you will be able to make those decisions for yourself. Until then, trust mommy and don’t use that word.
This may sound like a heavy or confusing conversation to have with a three-year-old, but we talk a lot about this topic. We talk about how some movies, games, words, actions, and activities are only meant for adults. And that is ok. She gets to do many fun and interesting things that her mommy can’t do, e.g., bounce houses, because mommy can’t do that “shitaki.” Or naps…can we all take a moment to morn the loss of naps?
I feel like, in this day and age, our children are going to be exposed to more than the occasional curse words and I am not going to beat myself up about the fact she heard some of them from me. I am far from perfect. She will be as well. I just hope that whatever decisions she makes when she grows up, whether in language or lifestyle, that she stays true to herself. That she finds a path that makes her happy and fulfilled.
