Dear Teenager,
I see the eye roll and the knee bending already, so I won’t take up too much of your time. Let me start by saying that you really hurt my feelings the other day. Well, you pretty much hurt my feelings every day.
Believe it or not, I am not your enemy.
However, I am not quite your friend right now either. I am your parent and while you probably think differently, the task of being your parent is not exactly a walk in the park for me. Do you know what it is like to be in a constant state of worry? Every time I hear sirens, my stomach drops thinking, “Is that you? Are you okay?” I know it is annoying to have to check in all the time, but taking those few seconds to let me know you are okay matter.
As a mom, I need to know you are okay.
I need to know you are safe. I need to know those sirens are not you sitting in a ditch. My job is to keep you happy and healthy until the day I die, so just get used to the fact that you will be checking in with me a lot, and literally until the day I die. You might be 40, but I will still need to have “check ins” with you to ensure my mission (the one of keeping you happy and healthy) is still going strong. So, do me a favor and, without the eye roll or sigh, send me a text or give me a call to tell me that you are where you need to be and safe.
Also, those simple chores I ask you to do like cleaning up your room, putting away your clothes from the laundry, etc. — just do them. Please don’t argue; by the time the argument is over, you could have had the task done. While you might think I give you those chores for fun, these chores have a bigger purpose than just you helping me out. You might wonder why I can’t just do it for you (because, I am the mom after all). Well, I can’t because I won’t be around forever, as much as I wish I could be.
There will come a day when you will be ready to leave the nest and live your own life on your own terms. When you do, I want you to be as prepared as possible and I want you to be responsible. I want you to make it to work on time. I want you to know how to wash your own clothes, keep a clean house, cook a meal without burning down the kitchen, etc. You won’t have me there to do it for you. It will just be you, and I will not have done my job well if I let you leave home without those skills and knowledge.
Finally, while I know this might be too much to ask of a teenager (as your life is pretty much the only thing you really care about right now), sending a “thank you” my way every once in a while would be nice. To a court, the only thing I need to provide you with are the basics: food, clothing, and shelter. However, I do more because I love you and I am proud to be your mom.
There is no rule that says I have to give you a car at 16, pay your car insurance or give you gas money. There is no rule that says I have to give you report card money or surprise you with treats throughout the year. I do these things because I want to and to show you that I am here for you. So, the next time dinner is on the table by six, or your clothes are washed and ready to be put up by the time you get home, rather than just expecting me to do those things, a simple “hey, thank you!” would mean the world to me. So, throw me a bone every once in a while and say “thank you” to let me know that beyond the eye rolls, knee bends, and heavy sighs, I am doing okay as your mom. That would really mean a lot.
I know we all go through this stage. I thought being a teenager was bad, but being a parent of a teenager is worse. So, enjoy being a teenager because one day the shoe will be on the other foot — yours!
Sincerely,
Your tired, stressed out mother
