For the past thirty something years of my life, if I made a goal — whether it was a new year’s resolution or one made in the middle of the year — I had to reach it perfectly, otherwise I would consider it a failure and give up. If I “failed” at one new year’s resolution, that would also usually drag any other resolution I had down in failure as well.
This would usually happen within a couple of days, sometimes within the first day. A few years ago I gave up cursing, among other things like the typical eating badly, etc., and that one went out the window within minutes of my morning commute to work.
For some reason this year, things are different.
I’m not sure if it’s because of the wisdom that has come along with thirty-eight candles on my birthday cake or if the unpredictability and lack of control over the mess that was 2020. But I went into this year with more relaxed expectations for myself.
First and foremost, I only made one actual resolution for myself: to not argue with people on the internet. When it comes to trolls, they thrive on those arguments, and when it comes to people with opposing views, it accomplishes nothing except for ruining my own peace. I did however make several goals and am not beating myself up if I don’t reach them perfectly.
New Year’s Day ended with me being over my calorie count for the day. I refused to let that cause me to throw in the towel on that goal, and I am glad that I didn’t because here I am a week later, and down 4.4 pounds already. By January 4th, I was so exhausted by bedtime that I didn’t get to read my “Bible in One Year” plan, and I still haven’t gotten to doing so. But that’s why they have a “catch me up” button; I will eventually finish. I also didn’t get to transfer money into savings like I planned due to a delay in my stimulus check arriving, again something I have had to learn is out of my control.
It has taken me thirty-eight years to understand that perfection is only achieved after overcoming imperfection. We are imperfect humans in an imperfect world and have limited control over some aspects of our lives. I finally understand that to achieve our goals, we need to realize that sometimes control is out of our hands and go with the flow.
