Honestly, where does the time go? It seems like yesterday my family and I were running around trying to get everything ready for school to start. Now, here we are, ending another school year while preparing for a new summer season.
While I always have a tendency to feel that the year went by so quickly, this year is hitting me a little differently. Perhaps it is because the upcoming school year is going to be a big one for the Deal household. Not only will our youngest child be starting school full-time as a pre-k student, but also our oldest daughter is going to be entering her senior year of high school. Yes, her SENIOR year. (Here come the waterworks.)
We haven’t even entered the 2019-2020 school year and yet the anxiety is already kicking in with graduation photos, college tours, pre-k immunizations, graduation invites, college decisions, and so forth and so on. I can feel the anxiety as I type these words, which is why I really want to reflect on this past school year so I can make the most of the next, especially since it is a big milestone year for our children.
Fixing the Priorities
I really need to focus on my time management skills so that more quality time is left for my children. I know working is helping them, as they need money for extra-curricular activities, but because I have a tendency to want to provide as much as I can, I get stuck in work mode. I don’t even like admitting this to myself — let alone you all — but I am not as present as I need to be.
While I work hard to help pay for my step-daughters’ cheerleading, I have only been to a few games. While I work hard to pay for my son’s soccer, I am quick to let my husband take him so I can work. So while I feel like I am doing the right thing to provide, I am not being present. And now, especially with my oldest stepping into her senior year, the clock is really ticking on the “next year I will be better” notion.
We truly are to the point of now or never.
I know I am not alone when it comes to the mom guilt, but boy, does it make you feel as though you are alone. So, I really am trying to do better at setting “work hours,” “family hours,” “me hours,” etc. If you have any advice, I welcome it all — as I am really trying to be better so that my children look back and see that I wasn’t just there for them financially, but also emotionally and physically.
Being a “Yes” Summer Mom
This doesn’t mean my teenagers can ask for no curfew; that will always be a no. But I do have a tendency to hold myself back from having fun with my children because of my own insecurities (aka, my weight) and, again, my work. If they want to go on rides, I will take them, but not ride. If they want to go swimming, I will watch from the side of the pool. Once again, I am not really being present. And, as I said before, the clock is ticking when it comes to the time I have left with my children, so I am going to be better about making time for fun this summer and making memories with my children.
Whether it’s actually swimming with them, taking them to a summer movie, going for a walk, or fighting my fear and going on a ride, I know there are many ways in which I can try to be more present with them this summer. Therefore, I am going to work my hardest to once again manage my time better so that I feel I am giving every area of my life 100 percent of myself rather than what I feel like I am doing, which is basically treading water in all areas of life.
