When I was trying to think about something to write for my next Chattanooga Moms post, I really wanted to stay away from talking about the quarantine. But honestly, what else is there to talk about right now?
The quarantine is all we have and I am horrible at it.
To all the parents who are posting about the “lesson of the day” and the pictures of the crafts you and the kiddos made — you are rocking it! How is it going in my household? Well, there is crying and anxiety and crying and fatigue, and that is just me!
When the quarantine first started, I was in a pretty good mindset. The kids’ spring break was ending on March 13th, and they were going to be out another two weeks for school. I thought, “I got this. No problem!”
So, for those first two weeks, I still pretty much had my schedule, and I even added in some fun activities here and there for us to do to help pass the time. Easy breezy and fun!
But then, more time was added to the quarantine with more restrictions, including a stay-at-home order. Life was starting to be a lot different, and my anxiety was starting to shoot through the roof. How do you keep teenagers and a toddler in the house for another month? March was one thing, but April too? I want to keep my family safe, but I am also worried about my mental health and the mental health of my children.
April was going to be a big month for my family. You have my birthday, my son’s birthday, my daughters’ prom, my daughters’ cheer banquet, and, then, activities preparing my senior for her high school graduation.
Yes, life, health and safety are most important, and the things we’re missing are small in comparison, but in a way, there are everything, too, especially for my senior. I still remember my high school graduation, high school retreat, high school “Skip Day,” and high school spring break. They are memories that I always will cherish, and it absolutely breaks my heart that my senior will not have these same moments.
Yes, the school is trying its best to still give the seniors as many traditional memories as possible, but let’s face it: it is not going to be the same and the seniors know it, and they are grieving those moments. I hate this was robbed from them, but I do know they will come out stronger because of it!
So, you have children grieving. Then, you have a mom grieving about the memories being taken from them, and a mom who is having anxiety about the virus that is not letting you do anything but stay at home. Let’s face it: staying at home is the last thing your children, especially teenagers, want to do. Plus, the “activities” that work for a four-year-old do not work on a teenager (in case you were wondering). Not to mention that I am also trying to work full-time at home while keeping everyone entertained and in the best spirits possible, which I am 100% failing at.
I am failing at keeping my household afloat. I am failing at making time for work and family. I am failing at keeping a smile on everyone’s face because I honestly can’t keep a smile on my own.
I see parents posting on Facebook about the amazing memories they are making with their children during this time and taking advantage of the moments. However, I am so stuck in my own head and so overwhelmed about the anxiety of this illness, that I am having a hard time enjoying this time with my family. Rather than painting rocks, I am crying in the bathroom.
