The hardest part of navigating through my adult life hasn’t been the bills, stress, or even the responsibility of adulthood. Instead, it’s never really knowing where I belong. Let me explain: In school I never really fit into a category. I wasn’t into sports so I wasn’t a jock and I wasn’t popular. I wasn’t in the band or organized groups and I wasn’t a nerd. I just existed. Fast-forward to adulthood and I found myself in kind of the same situation. I don’t drink, so I don’t fit in with the ladies that like to go to the winery. I have always hated coffee, so I’m not one to want to meet up at the coffee shop to hang out. While I love being outdoors, I am not a hiker and I only run if something is chasing me, so I am definitely not an adventurer.
So I just kind of existed, not really feeling like I had a place until recently.
My kids and my family are my life. Everything I do is because of them. I am a people pleaser at heart, so when I see something that needs to be done or needs to be improved, I want to do it. For instance, when we found out my husband (and then a year later my son) had celiac, I was determined to make sure they never felt left out and never missed something they could once have, so I started experimenting with recipes. I started writing the perfected recipes in my own recipe book. We have made cakes, cheese crackers, Debbie cakes, biscuits, etc. If they wanted it, I tried my best to find a way to make it. I threw all of myself into cooking and baking for my family. Don’t get me wrong; I loved it, but sometimes it was lonely. I craved relationships from outside my family.
We joined a homeschool co-op and I volunteered to be a room parent for a while (someone who looks after the classroom of kids between classes and lessons). I was happy with this, but after a couple of years I felt like I needed to do more. Then Covid hit and we took some time off. Once we started back up, I was ready to teach a class, then I started teaching a few classes. Then I started making friendships and connections with other amazing moms and dads. These are people I can ask to pray for me, people that I can vent to about issues I am facing with homeschool, people that not only ask about me or the kids, but actually care about the answer that follows.
I spent so much time wondering if I would ever find where I fit in; then one day, I realized that I was already there. I am a part of an amazing community of men and women for whom I care and who I know truly care for me and my kids. If I am having a hard day, I have friends that will surround me and pray for me; they support me and we have fellowship and friendship that is so amazing.
