As I arrive home from work, I have 1000 things running through my mind. I hear a sniffle from my five-year-old who has only been in school for a week. My teenager has her headphones on, seemingly in a mood of some sort. My college student son just sent a request on the cash app because he has probably spent his money on fast food. My husband just asked me what’s for dinner. Now, I am in a full-blown rage. Somehow, even through this madness, I do have to feed them. I read somewhere once that women make hundreds of decisions each day. This scenario is probably typical for most moms, and part of being the cornerstone to your family and household. The part I wasn’t ready for is how much of a toll the constant stressors of everyday life can transform into physical symptoms.
I can remember my first ever panic attack.
The only way I could describe it was feeling like being at the top of a roller coaster where your stomach floats to the top of your chest in anticipation of the swift plunge you are about to take, a feeling of not being able to fully catch your breath and your heart running a mile a minute. I think I initially felt like maybe I was having some sort of heart issue or maybe my stomach was upset from something I ate. In the moment, nothing was wrong but the physical ailments came from nowhere. After talking to my doctor, I realized this was a symptom of anxiety. Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of fear, dread, or uneasiness; these are all emotions that each of us will experience.
But how do you cope when those feelings turn into a physical manifestation and cripple your daily productivity?
When my doctor first suggested medication to help me cope with anxiety, at first I wondered if I was “crazy.” Was I slowly losing my mind? Would I not be in control of my own body and be able to function like myself? I also wondered how this would affect my own personal faith. Couldn’t I just pray these feelings away? Deciding to take anti-anxiety medication was a crucial step in my personal health journey.
We take meds for all our other ailments. Shouldn’t we take meds for our mental health too? I began to realize that medication coupled with therapy and taking care of my physical body all work together for a complete healthier me. I have been on anti-anxiety medication for years and will probably be for the rest of my life. It has been a decision I made for my own personal health and has made significant improvements to my life.
Do I still experience fear, dread or uneasiness? Yes. Is life still hard and overwhelming at times? Most definitely. But now the anxiety doesn’t control my body and I can function productively throughout the day.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that my anxiety isn’t a character flaw or weakness. It’s something I’ve learned that I need help with and medication has been a part of the regimen to be my best self.
