“Mom, can we go to the pool?,” my kids asked on day one of learning the community pool was open for the season. It didn’t stop there. I was asked three times per kid per day to go to the pool. “I have deadlines and work goals and summer dreams too,” I wanted to say, some of which, shockingly, didn’t include them, but also did because every dream seems to include making their lives the best.
“Kids, I really want to take you to the pool. Can you trust that I have always given you an amazing summer and quit asking?” I know we will make it to the pool a dozen or more times. We will hike our favorite spots and jump into the cool waters of blue holes. Ice cream and our favorite sno-cones will be plenty. Late night movies and catching lightning bugs are on the radar as well.
I don’t know when a restart from the end of the school year, soccer mom to summer working mom will happen. Maybe tomorrow I’ll lay down some screen time rules and we will get into a rhythm of waking up, getting ready, eating breakfast, doing house chores, allowing me to work for a bit, and then we are off for a grand adventure.
But I thought tomorrow would be today and that didn’t happen.
I felt myself just needing to breathe after a long Memorial Day of hiking and picnicking. Emotionally, I am so glad for warmer weather and catching my breath realizing my kids are getting older. The teenager is working, has pool parties and plans with friends, and a whole life outside of us.
The heart tug is remembering one tiny piece of my childhood that I didn’t really like. My parents would occasionally build houses. Even though I know it didn’t happen every summer, I remember asking my parents, “Please don’t build one this summer!” I didn’t want to spend my days stacking end pieces of 2x4s or with my grandmother while they worked at a new home build along with their other jobs. I too was the little girl just begging to go to the pool.
But, as I’m writing this after wiping a couple of tears from my eyes for today was not a pool day, I’m also feeling so grateful for the life my parents gave me.
My not understanding their work-life balance as a little girl was probably a struggle for my parents. They took our family on amazing trips that they could afford because they worked hard. The simple pool days really did happen more than the work. I can still taste the lunch box packed ham sandwiches with chips and special canned coke I got to sip sitting poolside.
You see, it’s more than a pool day for my kids. They want their fun Momma all to themselves and they fortunately have a Mom who would lay down everything for them. Someday, they will see the big picture. Right now, I’m glad we had a couple of hours to ride bikes at the park after the day was over. It wasn’t the pool day they wanted, but that will come too.
As their mom, I have the wonderful job of helping my kids see the world through a balance of want, need, and grace. I get to help them create wonderful memories of time outside during the summer, while learning to give myself grace as a summer working Momma.
