I woke up after a good night of rest prepared for my day home with both girls. My one-year-old and four-year-old get up before the sun each morning. I’m slowly learning to wake up just a few minutes early to work on my bible study or just gather my thoughts before the craziness starts.
During breakfast I started to feel a heaviness in my head that I couldn’t identify. I chalked it up to stress and still catching up on sleep after dealing with sick kids. After I put the baby down for her morning nap, we walked outside to play with my older daughter’s new motorized Frozen sleigh (that’s a topic for a whole other blog…). Anyway, I remember trying to read a text message from a friend, but my eyes wouldn’t adjust to the light outside. I kept blinking to try to regain my sight in the lower left part of my screen, but it wouldn’t clear up. Then, I saw them.
Floaters.
I’ve had them before while I was pregnant. My ophthalmologist always told me to let her know if I ever had floaters whether I was pregnant or not. But these weren’t just a few here and there. Every time I looked up or down, it was like black dots raining inside my eyes. Then, I realized how bad my vision was getting. It was as if I were looking through a puddle of water.
I thought to myself I don’t think I could drive right now if I needed to. At this point, my four-year-old had recruited her friend outside and they were recklessly playing in the Frozen sleigh. I decided it was time to call for help. I called my eye doctor’s office first. After describing my symptoms, the technician told me I was likely having an ocular migraine. She asked me if I had been under a lot of stress lately to which I answered does having two sick kids for weeks on end count as stress? Then, yes. She said the good news is that it should go away within 15-20 minutes, but to call back if it did not.
Well, my vision cleared up, but the worst was yet to come.
My neighbor and her son had joined us inside where there was lot of yelling over toys and iPads. I thought I was just experiencing a headache following the ocular migraine. But, as time went on it got worse. Much worse. The pressure between my eyes was unbearable. The sound of my one-year-old wining was excruciating. The thought of having to prepare lunch for these two little people was nauseating. Our neighbors left just as the migraine was at its worst. I even remember covering my ears as they walked out of the door, because the little boy’s voice was too much to bear.
Just make it until 1pm!
I turned on Dora the Explorer and put some toys in front of the baby hoping I could just curl into a ball on the floor. It worked for a few minutes until they got hungry and I had to put lunch on the table. I called my husband to see if he could help me out until naptime, but he couldn’t come right away. I wasn’t sure how much longer this pain was going to last, and I was fading quickly. If I had enough energy to cry, I would have. I finally texted our babysitter who said she could come over at 1pm. I just needed to last until 1pm!
Thankfully, my husband came home around 12:30pm to relieve me. I vaguely remember our conversation. My memory of the whole morning is very fuzzy. Looking back at our text messages, I wasn’t making any sense. I went up to my room and slept for about 1.5 hours. I could have slept much longer. I woke up feeling ravenous and weak at the same time, hoping someone would bring me a hot meal in bed.
The rest of the day just fizzled past me. I tried to remain calm and let things go. I heated up frozen food for dinner. I didn’t wash the baby’s hair. I asked my husband to pick up dinner for us. I could think of nothing more than soaking in a warm bath and crawling into bed.
Looking back, I should have asked for help sooner. Because I had never experienced a migraine, I had no idea what I was in for. I know many women cope with these episodes on a weekly basis. They know how to occupy their kids. They know what medications or supplements to take. They know to ask for help if they can get it. While I’m praying this was a one-time event caused by “stress,” I want to find out more. I don’t think it’s enough to say just work on your stress level.
Although, I did book a massage for tomorrow. I think that’s a good start.
