Going out on the town as a Mom is a lot less “Woohoo! Let’s party!” and a lot more of “Ahh…no one is screaming my name!” When a Mom gets together with a group of friends (can be a mix of single, no-children, or all-the-children ladies), it is a time to let down her guard of being all the things to all the people.
When a Mom steps out that front door into the possibilities of the evening, I promise you that literal angels are singing.
Nevermind that those angels singing sound a lot like children’s cries…
Following up on my last post, “Take Care of Yourself Momma,” let’s explore the idea that a Mom needs a night out every once in a while. I don’t know what you’re thinking a Girls’ Night Out, Mom Style looks like, but I am going to let you into some secrets of what the night entails. How do these nights out even begin? Maybe with a small celebration of a Mom friend about to bring new life into the world, a birthday milestone celebration, job promotion, or just any reason to get together with friends that sounds reasonable enough to hire a babysitter/call on Daddy to stay back home. My friends and I have gone so far as to celebrate a toddler’s potty training. When we ran out of excuses — I mean valid reasons to celebrate — we pulled the “Mom card” and used our child as an excuse. Two dozen women once met up at Tony’s pasta to celebrate Christmas with tacky sweaters and sock filled goodies. More on that later…
The secret is in the justification…What makes it okay to leave all else behind and just get out?
Whenever a Mom was in her younger years, however fleeting those were before children came along, there was focus on getting things together for one person. One. Person. Weird concept, huh, Momma? Now, as a Mom getting ready to leave the house alone, there is a plethora of stuff to prepare. Besides getting out of the yoga pants she’s been in all day or switched into after work, there’s also dinner to prepare for those other people (Hello, Dinner Delivered), children to peel off the legs, bedtimes dished out to the unwilling, and lots of locking of bathroom doors while one more coat of mascara is applied. With a usual bedtime of 9:30pm herself, a Girls’ Night Out may just be getting into full swing.
“Bye, kids! Don’t burn down the house, be kind to each other, and please remember the only emergencies for which you are to contact me include and are limited to lost limbs.”
Once the night out begins, the Mom on the loose could care less about what social media thinks about her more put together than usual outfit or the fact that there are more people in her life than children to Instagram about. I have hardly any pictures of the nights out with my friends due to us “accidentally” silencing and thus forgetting about our cell phones. Since cell phones are really only used as a comparison tool to other people’s perfectly curated lives via social media, and Mom is currently enjoying the perfect time ever not-to-be curated with other women…forget the phone! These memories made together will be buried ’til kingdom comes.
When returning home, it never fails that the question comes: “How was it?”
“Fine. It was just fine.” No need to know that our conversations did not include the spelling of words that we don’t want our toddlers to overhear, but actual out loud, adult words were used in the most non-secret ways. Yes, the surrounding tables at the restaurant might have had eyebrows raised through their whole dinner as our conversations went from G to PG to Disney would never produce this. Nevermind that the couple trying to have a romantic, candlelight dinner asked the manager if they could move after we discovered that our Christmas socks stuffed with goodies seemed like inappropriate parts of human anatomy. And before I dig up too many secrets and never have another Mom invite me to a Girls’ Night Out, let me just say that these times are much needed.
Whether introvert or extrovert, a Mom needs to feel the tribal call of like-minded women. She needs to know that there is still a fun, loving woman fully independent of the title of Mom that can show that teenage girl a thing or two about sophisticated fun.
And yes, honey, I brought you leftovers.
