“Everyone hit the reset button!,” I yelled over the chaos that we sometimes call lunch. Their voices had joined together to become an unhappy chorus of “She’s sitting too close to me!,” “He’s breathing on my sandwich!,” “She has more chips than me!” At the sound of my voice, their four little heads popped up immediately and I smiled at the sudden change our little ritual had caused.
The Origin of The Reset Button
It all started five years ago when my oldest was only five-years-old and her younger siblings were still in diapers. One dreary January day, in a sudden fit of desperation, I pulled out a piece of paper, wrote “Reset” with a red marker, cut a circle around it and taped it to the wall next to the kitchen table. I called it a reset button and it has been a life changing tool I pull out on hard days (2020 has provided plenty for us all).
At the time we started using the reset button, I was a stay at home mom to a five-year-old, a two-year-old and a one-year-old. My days were full of diapers, temper tantrums, making snacks, cleaning up snacks and trying not to pull my hair out. Now that I think of it, life has not changed much in five years. I now have four children ranging in ages from ten to three. I still make plenty of snacks and I still try not to pull my hair out when my ten-year-old and (almost) eight-year-old daughters start arguing.
Is It a Magic Button?
The original paper reset button did not survive our move from Indiana to Chattanooga. I suppose it got lost amidst the kids’ art projects and coloring sheets we may or may not have recycled before we loaded up the moving truck. But there was no magic in that paper circle taped to the wall. Nothing supernatural happened when their little hands hit the ‘button.’ It was simply a reminder that we can always start over.
When we started using the idea of a reset, I would call “Reset!” and then I would model hitting the button and have them copy me. They would line up and each take a turn hitting the paper on the wall and then take a few deep breaths before returning to their activities. After a few weeks of using the button, I noticed my attitude changed each time I took the opportunity to stop myself from entering the chaos before me, and instead pause and take a deep breath.
The Reset Is More Than a Piece of Paper
“Reset!,” I called to them. After years of practice, they all obediently marched to the wall and hit their hands on the orange circle. We managed to finish lunch with fewer raised voices and more peace.
Over the years, I have found a lot of other ways we can give our kids the opportunity to reset. After a long day of school, I discovered our middle daughter loves to reset her day by helping me cook. Our son loves to spend some time by himself drawing or making art in his room. Our three-year-old resets with big bear hugs and snuggles at naptime, even and especially after temper tantrums. I reset every afternoon during my youngest’s naptime by having the older kids do quiet time while I exercise.
The reset does not solve all our problems, turn anger into kindness or change our circumstances, but I believe we could all benefit from a deep, calm breath that might help change our perspective. A pause in our hectic days that might slow us down enough to see a better way forward.
Before the reset button came into our lives, I could let a hard morning turn an ordinary day into an unstoppable force propelling us all into a downward spiral. With the help of a physical reminder that we can all start over, take a break, and have a do-over, our hard moments do not always spiral into terrible days. We can have a hard morning and a peaceful afternoon. A terrible dinnertime, but a calm bedtime.
