Driving Alone with Miles to go, Praying the Toddler Sleeps

I think I can, I think I can…

We’ve all done it: sat at the wheel of our car, closed our eyes, and prayed fervently that our entire family will survive umpteenth hours sardined in a metal-and-plastic box on wheels that smells of stale McDonald’s and mystery stains.

Now that I am the proud mother of a threenager, I tend to make this prayer with a heartfelt frenzy even on lightning quick trips to the grocery store…the longer rides can be exponentially more harrowing. To top it off, my husband’s travel schedule means that whether it is a short drive or a truly grueling multi-day adventure, I’m usually the only adult present. 

To be fair, let me point out that I really do bring most of the suffering onto myself with my semi-nomadic tendencies. I partake in journeys that take us 8-15 hours away from home because some of my dearest loved ones don’t live nearby.

For example, I am writing this blog in my in-laws’ office in Maryland, having left a little over a week ago to drive the eight-hour route from Chattanooga to Springfield, OH, where we spent Easter with cousins. From there it took an additional 8-9 hours of driving to arrive at my in-laws’ home over the Bay Bridge in Maryland. Soon, Lillie and I will make the journey in reverse, stopping midway in Ohio for a few nights before making the final leg back to Chattanooga.

At a rough estimate, my dearest daughter and I will have been in the car for more than 40 hours whilst bouncing around the Eastern United States visiting family this spring.

Yeah…I can feel you cringing from here.

This trip is one that we will likely make two-three times a year in various combinations for the remainder of my life. To do this without all of us going insane, I’ve developed some coping mechanisms as a parent driving alone with children:

Departure Time:

This might sound simple, but it can really affect the overall outcome of your trip.

The night owl

I am not a morning person, so when my daughter has a bladder that is somewhat larger than pea and less propensity for accidents, I’ll probably make most drives at night while she sleeps. Though, admittedly, late-night travel makes bathroom breaks difficult because as a single driver, you have to wake everyone up when you stop. This can mean that you have a hysterically tired child clinging to you during rest breaks. 

Prime time is always nap time

Since Lillie is still learning to listen to her bladder’s signals, I tend to want to travel during the day. However, I’ve discovered it is a much more pleasant trip if I can squeeze in one of her physical activities before we leave. For example, if I can get her into one of her gymnastics classes, a swim class, or have her attend her outdoor preschool before we leave, she is usually napping for three to four hours afterwards. This allows me time to make some headway before our first stop. 

Stop, but don’t stop just anywhere:

Sometimes, the cry of, “I have to pee!!” means pulling over next to a bush, but I do tend to try and plan our major stops for meals and gas with a little more care. I have found that a longer lunch break that includes something super active can make the entire ride a lot smoother. You do have to plan for about an hour or more of extra time, but it is honestly totally worth it to me if I prevent Chernobyl-esque meltdowns. 

Fun activities that can be done in an hour:

(Some of these might have to be scheduled ahead, while others could be stumbled into whenever is convenient).

• Trampoline park: These are becoming even more prevalent and are relatively affordable because they allow parents to buy tickets only for the kids.
• Gymnastics center: Most gymnastics places have classes or an open gym time your little one may join for a fee.
• Climbing gym: These are nice for slightly older children and great for the adults to do as well.
• YMCA: If you are a member nationally, this provides you with access to a childcare area and, usually, a pool.
• Large Playgrounds: There are some pretty awesome playgrounds you can find in cities along your route, if you do the research. 

Enjoy the journey:

Lastly, but most importantly, be willing to take your time.

Every parent knows that there is no such thing as digging in and getting there with one stop when you have kids. When you are driving alone with kids, it’s even more apparent that you will need to make the drive more about comfort than speed. So, my last advice would be to simply plan your trips to be longer. If Waze says you can be there in nine hours, I’d plan to be there in 11. This way, you as the parent won’t feel that tenseness that comes with time expectations, and you can be more open to exploration and fun that will make the trip memorable in a completely new way.

In the end, I try my best to keep everything in perspective. We will be making these trips for years and years to come. I want them to be something special that we can share together. There will always be meltdowns and some drives will be better than others, but in the end it needs to be about the journey as well as the destination.

This is my hope.

This is my prayer.

Please let us travel safely for years to come.