Being Intentional is Much Better than Checking the Box

The new year brings new goals. I decided to start the year off by being more intentional about the things that I want to improve: my relationships, my health, my career. I can say I want a healthy body, strong relationships and a successful career; I can even put it on my calendar, but it takes me an extra step of intentionally working towards the goals when I’m doing them. I can write in an hour at the gym on my calendar, pack my gym clothes and go, but when I get there am I checking a box?: “Made it to the gym for 1 hour” or am I thinking I want my heart to be healthy, I want my back and legs to be stronger?
The same for my relationships; when I take my daughter to a fun activity am I thinking “quality time” box checked or am intentionally building a relationship to know her and enjoy her? The same for date night with my husband: box checked. I married my best friend to share a life with him, to share who I am and learn who he is, and a date night just to say it’s done with the Facebook pic to prove it doesn’t actually accomplish anything.

So that’s where I am. I am not going to be juggling a million things at once. For the things that matter I will do them one at a time, but after years of multitasking. It’s incredibly difficult to shut my brain down and say one thing. I will be in this moment and accomplish this, I will not let my mind wander to what’s next or what I have to do tomorrow.

I will be present and there.

It’s called mindfulness; being aware of where we are right in this moment, not the regrets of yesterday or even the hopes of tomorrow. Bring present with myself.

I have already noticed a difference in my marriage, being mindful and aware that I get to go on this awesome journey of life with my best friend. When I focus on my relationship without having laundry and parenting and work on my mind, it makes a world of difference. It’s been a while since I have given my husband or anyone my undivided attention. With my phone, emails, Facebook, phone calls — all of that in my hand at all times, it’s hard to give my full attention to anyone or anything.